HARVEST MOON TV!

[sbester]

HARVEST MOON TV!

(Just what exactly is meant by “Harvest Moon television”? Well, it’s not exactly a real television show, nor is it a script for one. Basically, this is a Harvest Moon fanfic which is divided into “episodes” instead of chapters, each one featuring a new day in the life of our old buddy “Jack”.)


EPISODE ONE: WELCOME


Jack was a regular boy (age unspecified). He went to school just like everyone else, he procrastinated doing homework and chores all day, and he even had friends. But you see, Jack had some very serious predicaments he was put in that set him apart from all of the other children that you or I have ever known. The first predicament was that Jack’s grandfather died and it was now up to Jack to go and take care of the farm and put it back into tip top shape like it had once been many years ago. This is quite a responsibility for such a young fellow as Jack. The second problem is that poor Jack only had the mental capacity of a six year old.
Now, one would think that any considerate or logical family would sympathize with the youngster under such harsh conditions, but not Jack’s family. No sir! Jack’s father decided that it was time the youth learned how to get out there and make it alone in the world. Poor old Jack thought it was a great idea, but that was because Jack is stupid.
So on the first day of Spring, Jack’s father drove him out into the middle of nowhere to a place that wouldn’t even have been comfortable in the 50’s (town name unspecified). How wonderful, Jack thought to himself as he pulled in to the small farm.
“Now Jack,” his father warned. “I will come back in 2.5 years to check your progress, and by that time you’d better have this ol’ farm in spiffy shape. Do you understand?”
Jack smiled moronically, eyes closed and everything. Jack’s father went on to explain just how long 2.5 years was, just in case.
With that, they said their goodbyes and the older man was on his way. Jack looked around at the property, it was all his now. But there was one thing he didn’t understand; why weren’t there any animals? This was a farm, was it not? And what in God’s name happened to all the vegetation? How was he supposed to eat? He was just about to explore the shed for an animal he could slaughter when he heard a friendly “hello” from behind him. Jack turned around, but could not see where the noise had come from. Perhaps he had imagined it.
“Down here!” the friendly voice sounded even more cheerful this time. Looking down, Jack could now see a very short old man looking up with a smile on his face.
“A midget!” Jack smiled and picked the man up, hugging him tightly. Jack had always wanted a midget of his own.
“Yes, yes, welcome. You can put me down now Mr. Jack.” Jack did so reluctantly. “Welcome to our humble village. I cannot begin to tell you how excited we are to have a new face in our midst. Would you like me to show you around the town so you can meet the residents and see the sights?” the strange little man offered.
Jack nodded wildly. What a nice little dwarf, he thought.
“I’m the mayor of this town, by the way. Call me… Mayor.” The small man turned to exit the grounds. With that, they were on their way.

Intermission

As soon as they stepped into town, the first thing Jack could see was a park. It was the smallest park he had ever seen and only consisted of two trees. The small mayor took a left turn and soon they were at a house.
“This is the fortune teller’s house, Jack. She lives here with her grand daughter and rarely leaves…” the mayor could not finish his sentence, for Jack had already bolted straight for the front door in hopes that the fortune teller could tell him great things. Upon entry, all was dark around a small table and the fat old woman seated comfortably at it could barely be seen.
“Trust me, kid, you don’t wanna know.” A voice came from the old hag. This only confused Jack, and he smiled and introduced himself to the witch. The woman’s grand daughter appeared out of nowhere and introduced herself to him as well. When the mayor appeared in the doorway and beckoned the small minded Jack to follow him, Jack ran back and gave the little man another big hug, lifting him from the ground once again like a puppy.
Continuing on their path, the second house was the livestock store. Both entered happily and Jack was thrilled to find that there really were animals available in the village, but he did not know which animals were to be his friends and which ones he would kill mercilessly.
“Hello there, I’m (name unspecified). I own this livestock store. We sell cows and chickens and all of their living needs. I suspect I will be seeing you in here quite a bit over the next couple of years, am I right?” the white bearded man cocked an eyebrow.
Jack let his tongue hang out at the side of his mouth as he nodded promptly at the man’s assumption. It then came to his mind: chicken tastes good! It was settled now, Jack would have a chicken and eat it. Jack had just had chicken the night before with his parents at their house and it was delicious, perhaps one that he slaughtered himself would taste even better.
“One chicken, please.” Jack placed his order.
“Oh there will be plenty of time for that tomorrow, my young friend.” The mayor tugged Jack by the arm. “The eager fellow must have work on his mind constantly.”
The livestock store owner smiled and said his goodbyes as the two travelers walked out and continued on their route through the town. Further down the path was the marketplace which consisted of 3 small houses. The first house was the tools shop, and upon entering the store they were greeted by a pleasant and slim fellow and a ratty little girl.
“Ah, is this the new farm owner?” the man at the desk asked the mayor with a pleasant greeting.
“It is indeed.” The mayor looked over proudly at Jack.
“I am the tool shop owner. It is a pleasure to meet you, young man. This is my daughter, Ann.” the small girl stepped forward and curtsied shyly. She couldn’t have been much younger than Jack himself, but there were a few things that bothered him about her. For starters, despite her big orange hair put into a ponytail, she looked much like a young lad would. It had to have been the clothes she was wearing, they were dirty and ragged much like Jack’s baggy overalls. Another thing was that there was a trace of intelligence in her eyes, and though Jack couldn’t recognize it for the life of him, he wanted absolutely no part of it.
“I’m Jack. We’re busy.” It was Jack’s turn to grab the mayor by his arm and drag him out of the shop.
“What a shy young man.” The shop owner looked over at his daughter.
The next house was the restaurant. Upon entry, Jack realized how hungry he was after thinking of the dinner he had enjoyed the previous night. Four figures awaited him on the inside of the house and greeted him very kindly. There was a stout older man who introduced himself as the owner of the restaurant, a woman of the same age who was introduced as his wife, an older gentleman who seemed drunk out of his mind who didn’t introduce himself at all, and an ugly girl named Ellen.
Jack had been stunned to hear the girl’s name because though Ann dressed much like a boy, this girl just looked like one, and he had initially thought she was one. Her hair was cut very short, her face was dirty and long, and her nose stuck out very far and glowed a bright red.
As disgusted as Jack was with the sight of this so called “girl”, he felt compelled to stay and play with the older fellow who repeatedly wobbled and fell helplessly to the floor. Jack danced from side to side, jumped from one foot to the other in front of the falling over man and giggled like a schoolgirl.
“That’s my grandpa, he’s a little intoxicated at the moment. Thank you for not judging him as many do.” Ellen smiled sweetly.
Jack stopped dancing immediately. He didn’t know what ‘intoxicated’ meant, but he knew that when he finally got his chicken he would invite this old man over to celebrate the feast with him.
“Jack is just taking the tour of the old town with me and meeting all the villagers. It has been quite the day so far and he really seems happy to be here.” The mayor stood as tall as he could, reflecting proudly.
“Well we look forward to seeing you again soon.” The owner said happily as they bade each other farewell.

Intermission

As they moved along to the next house, the mayor stopped and turned to face Jack.
“Now, Jack. This is the town bar, it is closed on Sundays but it has a very lively night scene. If you do decide to enter this place, I expect that you act as responsibly as possibly and be careful not to have too much to drink.” Jack knew very well what that meant; if you drink too much, you will wet the bed.
“Right.” Jack agreed in all seriousness.
The two took another right turn and soon found themselves in town square. This was the biggest part of the town and the mayor explained that this was where all of the town festivals took place. They continued on once more and found themselves at the largest property in the town.
“This is my humble abode. Feel free to come in anytime and chat. I am a busy man, however, and will not always be readily there; but my lovely wife will be sure to be there anytime to offer you a tea.” The mayor again stood very proudly. “Unfortunately, the day grows short and we must be on our way. But do stop by soon so you can meet her, she really is a wonderful woman and I’m sure she’s dying to meet you.”
Jack was bored by this. Grabbing the mayor by the arm, he pulled him away from the house and down the path, leaving the mayor a little stunned and a lot confused.
A tall building was next, and again the mayor did not beckon him to go inside.
“This is our church. I expect to see you there every Sunday along with…” he could not finish.
Jack ran away.
The mayor stood alone, more confused than ever. What a strange boy, he thought. Perhaps the poor boy had experienced something very traumatic as a child in relation to the church, yes, that must have been it. With that, he was on his way back to his own house to get to work.
Left to himself, Jack realized that the mayor had not bothered to follow him. He looked around, frightened that he was all by himself in a strange place. Beside him was another small house, so he decided it was best that he enter it without knocking and ask for directions.
He opened the door and walked up to the lady at the desk. This was indeed another shop, he concluded. The nice lady at the front desk was pretty with bright pink hair and a little green bow on the top, but much too old for the youthful Jack to consider.
“Hello, stranger. *cough*. How are you doing this evening?” the woman smiled at him.
“I’m lost!” Jack’s eyes were wide with exasperation.
“You’re lost? How old are you?”
“I’m…” Jack was about to count on his fingers, but suddenly the door burst open behind the counter.
“I’m going for a walk, mother.” A gorgeous young girl with big pink hair emerged from the entrance. “Oh, I didn’t know we had company. Excuse me for my interruption, my name is Nina.”
“I’m Jack.” The boy stared.
“Oh, the boy who is running the old farm! I was told about you.” The girl’s mother concluded. “Nina, why don’t you bring him back to his house, the poor dear is a little lost.”
“The old farm?” Nina looked at him oddly. “The path is literally right next to our house, how did you get lost?”
Jack froze uncomfortably, not knowing what to say.
“Oh, this town looks all the same. I’m sure it is very easy to get lost if you aren’t from around here.” Nina’s mother said sweetly.
“Hmm, I guess that is true.” Nina lead Jack out of the shop and out onto the path to his farm. On the way, she informed him that the shop they had just left was the flower shop and that they had everything he should need for planting his crops. Only then did it occur to the poor soul…
“I have to plant crops?”

Intermission

Jack arrived back at the farm and reflected on the day. He liked the people that he had met and there were sure to be more friendly faces for him to meet in the coming days. He looked around his little house and suddenly he felt very lonely. There were only four channels on his old television and nothing else he could amuse himself with except for a stupid old journal.
Suddenly he heard a knock at the door. He quickly walked over and opened it, only to find that the visitor was none other than the ugly girl that looked like a boy, Ellen.
“Hi. I was wondering… do you like dogs?”
Jack considered the question carefully before nodding his head wildly as he always did. Eyes closed.
“Great, well I’m sure you will get along great with this little guy! Unfortunately, I can’t take care of him right now but if it isn’t too much to ask of you, would you take care of him for me?” out from behind the girl’s leg, a little brown puppy showed its face shyly.
A smile crossed Jack’s lips, and soon it turned into a grin. He swept the dog off its feet and hugged it close to him. It was no midget, but it was company nonetheless, and would serve as a true friend.
Ellen was very satisfied with herself for choosing Jack as the owner of this loveable pet and she thanked him wholeheartedly. She told him that the dog’s name was Koro, but Jack in turn informed her that that was just not so. He was to be called Ruff, because that seemed to be the only word the dog knew how to pronounce.
Ellen left and Jack played briefly with the dog before getting bored and forgetting the poor thing outside in the cold. Tiredly, he walked over to his bed and decided that he should write in the journal to keep a record of what he’d done so that his parents would be proud of him when they came to visit.

Yeer 1: Munth 1: Day 1
I metted lots of peple today. It wos fun. I metted a mijet, a gerl that loox like a boy, a beootiful gerl with pink hare, and I got a dog to. I sware Im going to make this farm good. Aggen. I named him ruf. And her mommee is prity to.

The End
(Hope you enjoyed the first episode!)

[melody]

Haha, I loved it! Very funny, it made me laugh.

I can't wait for the next episode!

And...
“A midget!” Jack smiled and picked the man up, hugging him tightly. Jack had always wanted a midget of his own.

That was funny. XD

[sbester]

EPISODE TWO: ADJUSTING



It had been a few days since Jack had first arrived at the farm, and the poor soul had never been as bored in his entire life as he was at this moment. It was 7am in the morning, and he knew that he should be up and about doing something… but he couldn’t for the life of him figure out just what that was! Looking outside his window into the fields, he realized that perhaps it was time that he learned to grow vegetables. They were yucky, but he was pretty sure that not eating them was a sin.
As he opened his door, he was startled by a weak bark at his feet.
“Oh, I forgot about you again!” Jack smiled at his dog, Ruff, and picked the pup up from the ground. The dog stared motionlessly into the happy eyes of the unintelligible lunatic holding him off the ground, not quite afraid of him, yet utterly confused as to why this being had detached his paws from the safe ground below.
In an instant, Jack remembered what it was that he came outside to do and quickly tossed the young pup aside without a thought to the well being of the animal. Looking about, he thought wonderingly to himself.
How do I plant crops… if I don’t even know where babies come from? poor Jack studied the fields hard. They were a mess. Logs, rocks, and weeds were all about them, but Jack had already decided that his grandfather must have grown them. What an odd choice of food, he frowned.
“Hey, Jack!” a voice came from behind him. It was the shipper, Jack had met him not too long ago. “How goes the crop planting today?”
“I don’t know what I’m doing!” Jack exclaimed excitedly.
“Oh, it’s no problem! It’s the easiest thing in the world, my friend. Why, all you have to do is clear the fields, plant the seeds, and water them day by day!”
Jack looked at the man in confusion. “How do I do that?”
“Well, first of all, you must get rid of all of these rocks and weeds and logs. The logs go in that bin over there. You’ll need to move the rocks out of the way, and then you’ll need to chop up the weeds before they get any bigger. When the fields are all cleared out, use a hoe to dig up some patches, then plant the seeds.” The man smiled warmly Jack.
After a few moments consideration, Jack smiled back and nodded wildly.
“I have to be on my way now, but please come by the bar later and meet me for a drink. Lots of the townspeople will be there so it will be a great ol’ time!” with that, he was off.
Jack worked very hard for the rest of the day, slaving as best he could to move the rocks, store the logs and chop the weeds. The rocks were way too heavy at first, so he focused more on the ones that he could carry. The logs were the most amount of work, and Jack had no idea that he was supposed to chop them into smaller pieces before storing them; this made it extremely difficult for them to fit in the log bin, and he eventually gave up and rolled them to the side of the house. He ripped the weeds out from the ground with his bare hands, unknowing that with their roots still grounded, they would grow back. Upon finishing, he took the weeds back to the house and and chopped them up like someone would a vegetable. Ofcourse, Jack forgot to wash them before eating them. Mother had always told him that if he ate his broccoli, he would get his desert, so maybe the same was true with these weeds.

Intermission

After Jack threw up his dinner, he headed for town in search of the “bar”. Unfortunately, the bar could not be found anywhere. He searched high, he searched low, he searched everywhere; but alas, the boy could not find it. Up along the path, Nina could be seen coming out of the church. He was about to run away as he always does when close to one, but the girl called out to him.
“Hi, Jack. Where are you off to?” she smiled sweetly at him.
“I’m off on an adventure.” Jack said secretively.
“Hahaha, that’s funny. I haven’t seen you in town lately, has work been hard?”
Jack nodded sadly. There were so many things that he was expected to do, he just couldn’t handle it all. He had so many questions and he didn’t know who to ask. Then he remembered, Nina’s mother was a smart lady! She would know everything! He eagerly asked Nina to bring him to see her, and politely she complied. Together they walked down the darkening streets towards Nina’s house.
When they had finally reached their destination, Nina went to her room while her mother and Jack sat down to talk.
“Well Jack, what seems to be the problem?” she asked with a very concerned look on her face.
“I have many questions.” He answered promptly.
“Well go ahead and ask, and I will answer to the best of my ability *cough*.”
“…Where do babies come from?” Jack stared intently. The woman stared back blankly, stunned.
“Y…you’re serious…”
“I’m a very serious person.” Jack blinked.
“Umm… uh, well…hmm. Okay, first of all, the act involves a man and a woman. They need to love each other very much, and then they need to do something…” she could see the confused look on Jack’s face. “They, they need to have sex, Jack. Men have special seeds produced inside of them, and as well women have special eggs. The man must spread his seed and impregnate the woman’s egg… do you understand?”
Jack understood perfectly well. This woman was a con artist. She sold seeds for $3.95 each and every day to poor unsuspecting customers in the town when all along the men of the village were producing them for free from their own bodies, never suspecting a thing!
“Any more questions, sweetheart?”
“I’m looking for “the bar”.” Jack glared coldly at her.
“Oh, that’s on the other side of the town. I will summon Nina and she can take you there. Be very careful when you are there, bars can be dangerous places, if you know what I mean.” She warned him.
With that, Nina was called and soon she and Jack were on their way.
“What did you guys talk about?” she asked him curiously.
“You’re better off not knowing, Nina. But you may want to think twice before eating eggs again.”
Soon they arrived at their new destination and entered through the small door eagerly.
“Well, have a nice time. I’m tired and so I’m heading home to go to bed. Goodnight, Jack.” She bade him farewell and left.
How rude of her to give up on the adventure like that! He thought to himself. Looking around the room, he noticed that there weren’t very many people there. There was the old drunk man that Jack had played with before, the bartender, the shipper, an ugly girl that gave him his dog but he couldn’t remember the name of, and… the most gorgeous girl he had ever seen.
With all the grace and style of an angel, the beautiful blonde vixen walked slowly towards him.
“You’re the new guy in town.” She gave a half smile. “My name’s Eve. I work here, my room’s in the back. I’m not outside all that much, but I’m always here at nights. Don’t be a stranger.” She winked at him and walked on by.
How did she make her eye do that!?
“Jacky boy!” the annoying shipper shouted, once again interrupting him on his quest. “Come and sit over here, I’ll buy you a drink!”
“I can’t right now, I need to find the bar.”
“You just walked into it, buddy!”
Jack stared at him in confusion. He rubbed his head, but he could feel no bump. This man was a liar, just like Nina’s mother!
Sidetracking him once more, Eve tapped him on the shoulder, grabbing his attention completely.
“What was that, you wanted something from the bar?” Jack could do nothing but stand there stupidly as she talked. “That’s no problem at all. Since you’re new in town, its on the house.” Smiling she walked towards the bartender.
Waking up from his trance-like state of mind, Jack thought back to what had just unfolded. It’s on the house. “The roof!”
Running like a madman, Jack blazed past the old drunkard, knocking him flat on his bottom and sending a glass to the floor in shatters. Looking up to the rooftops, Jack wondered how on earth he was to get up there.
“Jack, are you okay?” the shipper was suddenly standing in front of him, blocking his view of the pub. Without further thought, Jack began to climb the hulky man’s arms, shocking and confusing the poor bystander. “Wh…what are you doing? Jack?!” Jack had gotten on top of his shoulders and was now getting ready to attempt his leap to the roof of the building. “Ow, what is the meaning of this?”
With all his strength, Jack leaped. Jack fell.
“Jack, are you alright?” the blurred vision of the man could barely be seen through Jack’s shaky vision. He lifted his head slowly, dazed by the force of the collision.
“What did you do to him?!” Eve cried as she ran out and tended to the injured boy.
“I…I…I didn’t do anything, he just…” the shipper stalled.
Just then the bartender rushed out to Eve’s assistance.
“That’s it, bub, you’ve had enough to drink. You could have seriously injured this young fellow. And don’t bother coming back!” hurt by the words of the bartender, the shipper walked away, unable to speak or explain what had just taken place.
“Are you alright, Jack?” Eve asked him. The angel sent from heaven was the first thing he could see clearly now, how he loved the sound of her soft voice. Forgotten was his quest for the bar, the man who had sent him on it had now gone home anyways.
“I’m okay, Eve.” He smiled.
With that, they all went back inside the pub and sat down. Jack and Eve talked a little while, and she believed that he talked in his odd ways because he had been drinking already that night. Poor boy, it must have been lonely being I that farm day after day all by himself, it was no wonder he was drinking.
“So what’s up for tomorrow?” she asked him.
“I need to use a hoe to dig up some patches in my fields, then I can plant my seeds in them.” He smiled proudly. “Bet you didn’t know I could do that!”
“Is that a tool?”
“The seeds? No, but I have a feeling that they may come out from one.” He looked down at his pants.
Ah, she thought. How far technology has come, seed dispensers for gardens. I meant the hoe, but he’s a little too drunk to tell the difference.
Now, one wouldn’t think that Jack was smart enough to know what a hoe is, but luckily for Jack, his father had let him stay up some nights and watch the B.E.T. channel with him.
“Hey, are you busy tomorrow?” he asked.
“I don’t think so, why?”
“I need you to come do something for me in the fields.”

Intermission

Jack felt quite weird coming home. Beer didn’t taste very good, but it was better than those awful weeds he’d had for lunch. Looking down at his feet, Ruff was fast asleep. The cute little dog must have been all tuckered out after a long day in the hot sun.
“WAKE UP, RUFF!” he shouted in the dog’s ear, sending him jumping to his feet in fear. “Hahaha! Good puppy!”
Satisfied with himself, Jack went to his bed and decided once again to write in his journal. It had, afterall, been a very productive day.

Yeer:1 Munth:1 Day:4
2day I saw the most beootifll gerl in the werld. Her nam is eev. And I moovd the rox, I rold the logs, I cutted the weeds and I ated them. Mom donnt bi egs evr agan! I git seeds fer free! Tomoro I hav a ho cuming ovr to mak paches, and she iz also the beootifl gerl I wuz toking about.
PS- sumday I will find the BAR! Its on the roof!

With that, Jack went to sleep.
Finishing his rounds after his drinking break, the shipper showed up at Jack’s house. Perhaps he could get some kind of closure on the situation and what had happened by talking to the young lad, or perhaps the kid was just an idiot. Looking into the produce bin to make sure there was nothing that could be sold, the shipper got his answer.
“Rocks?”

The End

(Stay tuned, more episodes to come!)

[melody]

Haha, this is great. *exalts*

I was laughing a lot during this.
He ate the weeds? XD

Haha, more soon please!

[sbester]

EPISODE THREE: INFESTATION


After a few weeks of settling in, Jack was finally starting to feel quite at home in the little village. Unfortunately, he was having a difficult time trying to plant his crops and soon became frustrated with the task. Just when he was about to give up, a sprout could be seen coming up from the ground, exciting the young fellow to extreme measures of joy. He hopped up and down, circling around the small sprout in a dance and singing a very off key tune.
Just then, something could be seen running away from out of the corner of his eye. It was small and fast, too fast for Jack to get a proper glimpse of it before it had scurried away into the hole in the door of the tool shed.
“Rodents.” Jack cocked an eyebrow. It came as no surprise to him that tiny creatures would want to live in his wonderful farm; it was, afterall, the greatest farm in the entire world. “Ruff! Come on, boy! We have a new job to do today!” he exclaimed as he walked over to the door of the shed.
Bending down, he examined the hole in the door and took notice of its size. Whatever ran past him couldn’t have been very big at all, but still considerably big for a rat, if such was the case. He opened the door and looked around the room very carefully, but he could detect no movement at all.
“I’m gonna get you! Just you wait!” Jack yelled happily at his newfound enemy. Closing the door, he went back to his room to think about who he should call to help him exterminate the pests.
The first person that came to mind was the carpenter who lived in the mountains. This man seemed the very capable type. And while he was up in the mountains, perhaps he would pay a visit to the old man who always seems to be play there; Eve’s grandfather of all things. If only there were one more person able to help him on his mission…
“Two’s enough, I still have you, Ruff!” Jack smiled at his little dog. With that, he was off to the mountains to ask his fellow neighbors for assistance in his murderous rampage.
It was a bright sunshiny day, clear enough for Jack to think straight for the rest of the afternoon, thank heavens. The walk to the mountains did not take long at all, and he was very satisfied by that fact, because Mr. Jack is quite normally impatient. This was not his first trip to the mountains, but it was the first time that he was confident enough that he wouldn’t get lost again. He longed for the day that he would be able to come to the mountain without getting lost so that he could spy on Eve as she made her weekly soak in the hot springs.
When he arrived at the carpenter’s house, Jack knocked loudly at the door… constantly.
“*muffle, muffle*” the door opened. “What is the meaning of…”
“I need help!” Jack yelled wide-eyed at the older gentleman in the doorway.
“Hmm? Is it an emergency?” the carpenter now had a look of concern on his face.
“Yes. My farm is being invaded!” Jack resumed his intensity.
“Uh, well… I guess I could come over and take a look around for you. I don’t exactly know what you mean by ‘invaded’, but I’ll see what the matter is.” And with that, the man was off to the farm.
Meanwhile, Jack continued on his new quest to find helpers. It wasn’t long before he found Eve’s grandfather on his morning walk, just waiting for an adventure to take place.
“Help me, Eve’s grandpa! My farm is being invaded!” Jack yelled as he ran to the man, scaring the old chum half to death.
“The aliens have come back… alert the entire village! They’ve found me!” the elderly man suddenly became very fearful. His eyes lit up in a way that Jack had never seen before, and suddenly he was very scared as well. Was it really possible that an alien species had come to invade his farm, and not just some pesky rodents like he had thought?
“Aliens!!! What are we gonna do?” Jack exclaimed.
“I’ve waited fifteen years for those buggers to return, it is time I ended this! Go to the village and tell everyone! We need to formulate a plan on how to capture and dipose of these creatures.” The confused man limped away as fast as his tired legs would allow him to.
Jack stood there for a moment, unable to move. He just stood there thinking, until his thoughts disappeared into the wind.
“What’s that I hear about aliens?” the fisherman suddenly appeared from behind Jack, having overheard the exciting conversation that had just taken place. Jack did not turn around to greet him, he remained immobile. The fisherman waved his arms about furiously, trying to wake Jack up from whatever trance he was in, but he could do nothing. “Jack! Hello in there?”

Intermission

“By heavens, where are the rest of the villagers?!” Eve’s elderly grandfather shouted from across the field at the carpenter.
“This is no matter for them, it is only an infestation of rodents. It’s really nothing to worry about at all, I can deal with the situation single handedly. But where is Jack?” the carpenter cocked an eyebrow.
“I sent him to alert the people! I tell you, the aliens have returned to finish what they started. That young feller’s grandfather and I went through hell the last time they came around, and I knew they would come back some time! We can’t let them overrun us, not now! Not ever!” the old man said in all seriousness. The carpenter felt badly for the man, knowing that his mind wasn’t what it used to be.
Ruff had followed close by as the fisherman showed up at the farm. He considered for a moment telling them what had happened to Jack up in the mountains, but he decided against it in case it was nothing but a big prank.
“Ah, the fisherman. Can you do us all a favor and take him back to the mountains?” the carpenter pointed accusingly at the elderly man beside him.
“Well sure, what seems to be the problem?” the fisherman was very interested.
“You can’t take me! I’m the only one who can save us!” the old man raved loudly. Ruff found the man very amusing, and began to bark and jump in attempt to play with him.
“Why don’t you go warn your granddaughter of what is happening? Surely of all things, she must be the most important to protect.” The fisherman used his intellect to outsmart the old man. Eve would definitely be able to calm him down and make sure that he took his meds, putting the whole fiasco behind them.
“Eve, yes! I must get her out of the village before it is too late! I shall return.” And with that, he was gone.
The fisherman and the carpenter entered the tool shed together, but no trace of any rodents could be seen anywhere. Ruff sniffed high and low, determined to help these men find whatever it was that they were looking for. In just a few short seconds, Ruff had found a footprint and began barking to alert them of the clue.
“Good boy, Ruff. Hmm, these don’t look like animal prints at all. They don’t belong to aliens, ofcourse, but strange nonetheless.” The carpenter studied the prints hard. Suddenly, from behind them came the sound of a footstep. Both men turned quickly to see where the sound had come from, but not fast enough. The little critter was out the door of the shed before they could catch a glimpse of it.
Running as fast as they could, they emerged from the tool shed into the sunlight and studied the fields before them.
“Ruff, ruff!” Ruff barked, running out into the fields in obvious pursuit of something. Seeing this, the two men struggled to a considerable pace to join the chase. The action ended when they reached the old bolted up well. Upon further inspection, the fisherman realized that one of the boards had been taken off the well.
“Isn’t that curious.”
Just then, Jack arrived on the scene having recently awakened from his state of… whatever.
“Jack, did you do this?” the carpenter asked instinctively. Jack looked at the well and shook his head defiantly. The man had meant the removal of the board, but Jack had thought he meant the building of the well. Either way, this had been the first time that Jack had ever been near the well in his life.
“That is just the strangest thing.” The fisherman observed.
Unable to stand the suspense, the carpenter bent down and pulled away the rest of the boards to get a look inside the well, but was disappointed to see that it was still too dark to see anything. “Damn, do you have a flashlight, Jack?”
“Nope, I have something better.” Jack proclaimed, and with that, he picked up Ruff and threw him mercilessly down the well. Both men were stunned, but were fast relieved upon hearing the barking from within the well.
“He’s okay, so it must be safe.” Jack smiled, tongue hanging out as usual. “Look out, boy! Here I come!” Jack yelled as he jumped in after his pet. The two men tried to grab and hold onto the boy in an attempt to keep him from landing on the poor animal, but they were too slow.
*Yelp*
“Jack! Are you two okay?” the fisherman yelled down.
Jack looked around, this had been no ordinary well. He found himself in a room, one that looked like a small home for very small people. Furniture and appliances all around, it was an amazing sight. But Jack was frightened. He called up for a sledge hammer, he needed a weapon to protect both himself and his little dog, whom by the way was alright.
The fisherman ran ran back to farm as fast as he could, leaving the carpenter behind to ask questions.
“What do you see, Jack?” the carpenter hollered.
“I see… a Barbie’s dream house!” was all that the confused boy could muster. Just then, out of the corners of the furniture, little heads began to poke their way out. It took a moment for Jack to realize what was happening, but in time he concluded that these were indeed real elves.
“Jack, what is going on?” the carpenter begged for a plausible answer.
“Santa’s workshop in my own backyard!” Jack’s eyes went wide. Ruff hid snugly behind his master’s legs, afraid of the little people and what their intentions may be.
The carpenter could not take any more. With a deep breath, he lunged into the well to join his friends. Simply put, he was shocked at what he saw.
“Worker elves…they really do exist!” the carpenter put his hand on Jack’s shoulder, in total awe of what lay before them.
One of the small elves walked forward from his hiding place towards the visitors.
“I have the hammer!” the fisherman tossed the tool down to Jack.
“You’re dead now!” Jack held the weapon out infront of him.
“Wait!” the elf begged. “We mean you no harm!” the carpenter struggled to keep Jack at a distance, constraining him.
“I think he’s telling the truth Jack!” he tried.
“I am, I am! How else do you think your crops have been growing? You don’t water them or anything!” the elf pleaded for their safety.
Jack suddenly stopped his struggling and stared at the tiny elves.
“You see, Jack? They want to be your friends.” The carpenter smiled gently.
Jack walked slowly forward, not wanting to scare the leader elf in any way.
SMACK!
The hammer came down upon the elf with a thud, crushing the elf beneath it. The rest of the elves panicked, screaming in fear.
“That’ll teach you to call me a bad farmer.” Jack smiled remorselessly.
“What have you done!” the carpenter stared in disbelief.
“Rodents need to be exterminated! Plus I wanna kill something, I don’t have any chickens yet.” Jack explained.
“Kill the murderers!” an elven voice sounded from the crowd, sending off a chain reaction of hateful warcries.
The fisherman acted fast, throwing down the rope he had taken from the toolshed, though he still was not completely sure what was happening down in the dark well. Jack began to climb the rope clumsily with Ruff hanging from his back loosely. The carpenter, unfortunately, was getting the worst of the deal with all the small elves crazily crawling over him and beating him with all they had.
“Hurry up Jack, they’re breaking skin!” he yelled in pain.
Emerging from the other side of the field, Eve and her grandfather could be heard.
“Grandfather, come back!” Eve yelled.
“No! I must stop the invasion!” the raving maniac ran hastily towards the commotion with a small stick of dynamite in his hand.
Jack finally managed to climb his way out from the well and the carpenter was now given the space he needed to crawl the rest of the way up.
“See you in hell, martians!” Eve’s grandfather lit the dynamite and threw it into the well, unaware that the carpenter had not yet made his way up the rope.
It all happened very quickly. The fisherman pushed Jack to the ground just before the explosion and the destruction of the well.
“Haha!” the old man celebrated by himself while his granddaughter stood in amazement.
Jack slowly got up to his feet. Normally, he would have celebrated along with the old man, but the sight of Eve made him stop dead in his tracks as he stared at her perfect frame before him. The fisherman looked on at the wreckage, too shaken for words.
“Oh, my God! Are you alright, Jack?” Eve rushed to his assistance. He looked at her in awe, that was the coolest explosion EVER!

Intermission

The carpenter turned out to be alright afterall, aside from a few broken bones and looking burnt to a crisp, but the elves all tragically perished. It was decided amongst the town that Eve’s grandfather had to be sent away so that he could be taken care of… by communists.
Jack was just glad that he had properly protected his farm against outside forces. Perhaps this was his first big step towards becoming a master harvester, but unfortunately the credit was all given to Eve’s grandfather. That didn’t matter, as long as one day they all knew how special he was, and how contributing to the town he could be.
Eve stayed with him for the remainder of the day, making sure that he was not hurt or affected by the day’s events.
“Are you sure you’ll be okay if I leave for the night, Jack?”
“For the last time, no!” Jack was getting annoyed.
“Haha, you’re silly. Tell you what, how about I stop by tomorrow on my way to work to check up on you?” she smiled warmly.
Jack considered this thoughtfully, but could not understand why she had to leave at all. She hugged him sweetly and in seconds she was gone, leaving him alone with his thoughts. The hug was the greatest thing to ever happen to him. He quickly picked up his journal, but suddenly the events of the day were all but forgotten.

Yeer:1 Munth:1 Day:15
Eev and I did sumthing notty, and nao I hav 2 go tak car uv sumthing. O and I kild won uv santas elfs. Mi feelds ar good.

THE END

(okay, so the comedy factor wasn’t what it could have been this time… I promise to do better next time.)

[sbester]

EPISODE FOUR: THE DANCE



It was the 23rd of the month, and the day of the flower festival. Jack had never been to a town celebration like this in his entire life, but he was very excited nonetheless. A knock at his door sounded and he was suddenly overjoyed that someone had come to see him. He opened the door and looked around, but could see nothing.
“Down here.” Came the voice of the mayor below.
“Buddy!” Jack picked him up and hugged him tightly.
“Yes, yes… erm, not so tight now.” Jack set the man down. “I just came by to notify you that the flower festival will be taking place today at town square. My daughter Maria will be there, I don’t think you two have met before so it will be very interesting indeed.”
“What is the flower festival?” Jack beckoned.
“Why, it is the greatest festival of all. There is dancing and all sorts of wonderful things. I met my wife there, and perhaps you will meet your future missus as well! I used to be quite the ladies man back in my day, you know.” The mayor winked with pride. Jack had no idea what a ladyman would look like, but he was pretty sure he didn’t want to picture it in his mind. “Oh, and one more thing: Maria likes flowers and green perfume. She absolutely detests cakes, poisonous mushrooms, and weeds… but don’t we all.”
Jack was confused by this, was it really expected of him to buy gifts for a girl he had never met before? He nodded slowly, unknowing of what to say. Poisonous mushrooms and weeds…
“Oh, looks like you have visitors. I shall be on my way, see you there.” The mayor left just as Eve and Nina had approached the farm, whispering to themselves in clear dissatisfaction for one another.
“Hello, Jack.” They both said at the same time, then glared at each other.
“Hi!” Jack greeted, relieved at the lack of confusion.
“Are you coming to town square today?” Nina asked intently.
“Nope. I’m going to the flower festival.” Jack looked at them proudly. The girls laughed foolishly at the assumed joke, but Jack was serious.
These people laugh at everything.
“Well we hope to see you there.” Eve smiled angelically. “I can’t wait until I get to smell that wonderfully scented pink perfume.” She hinted.
“Oh, no. The green perfume is the best.” Nina challenged.
Jack, knowing fullwell that he would not be able to remember which color perfume each liked the most decided to get clues of what else they liked.
“Perfume sucks.” They stared at him wordlessly, unaware of what he had meant by this. “I like… flowers.” He thought back to Maria’s dislikes.
“Flowers are nice, and cakes.” Nina remarked.
“I like anything that is given from the heart, those are the real treasures in life.” Eve aimed a fake smile over at Nina. “Oh, but I hate fish.” She suddenly remembered.
“Yes, treasure is good.” Jack looked down, trying to memorize the likes and dislikes of both girls.
Another odd look circulated, and the girls took this as a sign that it was time to end the conversation. They said their goodbyes and departed, wondering what the rest of the day had in store for them all. It was an important time in all of the youths lives today in the village, they were all growing up and becoming young adults. Jack was very slow to realize this, unfortunately, and his low mental capacity left him straggling behind them all. Luckily for him, he was too stupid to understand that.
“This is going to be a great day!” he smiled giddily!

Intermission

Jack made sure to take a trip up to the mountains before making his way to the celebration at town square. He remembered to get all the gifts that he could find… or at least he thought he did. Ofcourse, he didn’t even consider going to town to ask Ellen or Ann about their likes and dislikes, for he did not like them.
Town square was decorated completely with flower arrangements of all kinds. Jack felt like a ladyman just for being in such a girlish place wondering why on earth he had bothered to show up there in the first place. But that all changed when he saw Nina and Eve, both standing by themselves in the most gorgeous dresses he could ever have imagined.
“Hi, Jack!” came Ann’s voice. Jack walked away. “Wow, father was right. He is a very shy boy.”
Jack couldn’t decide which girl to talk to first, then he decided maybe he didn’t need to make that decision at all. He walked up to Eve, because she was the closest to him and hollered, “Hey you!”
“Uh, me?” Nina looked at him questioningly from across the floor.
“Yeah, come here a minute.” Jack said.
“Haha, Jack, you’re so funny. With all the things that seem to go wrong in your life, I’m so glad you can keep such a positive attitude.” Eve flirted.
Nina walked over, a little offended that he didn’t walk over to her instead. She greeted him sweetly nonetheless, and then hinted that the perfumes smelled wonderful.
“Oh yes, simply amazing.” Eve agreed.
“I don’t smell anything except for these flowers. I have allergies.” Jack said matter of factly.
“Wouldn’t it be great to finally own some of our own, Eve?” Nina pushed on.
“Oh, yes! I would love that too!”
Jack thought long and hard at this. “You should definitely buy some.” He agreed. They both looked at him, stunned. Then he remembered their gifts… but which gifts belonged to which girl? This was not going according to plan at all. Think… think… what were the last words they each said? Goodbye. No, wait… I don’t want to give them that. Cakes and Fish! But which one likes which? Jack told them he would be right back. He had caught a fish earlier that day in the mountains, but he needed to find a cake very quickly.
“Hello, there Jack. Have you met my daughter yet?” the mayor’s beautiful wife popped her head out amongst the crowd as he was passing by.
“Do you have a cake?” Jack asked, ignoring her question completely.
“Uh… a cake? Well, uh… yes I do, in fact. Why is it that you ask?”
“I need it bad.” Jack nodded for no apparent reason.
“Well it was supposed to be for later, but I’m sure you’re famished, you poor dear. It must be hard working by yourself day after day on that old farm, the cake is on the table over there.” She pointed to the other side of the square. Jack ran immediately towards it.
Picking up the cake, he ran back to the two girls he admired so much. They stared at him as he took the fish out of his pocket and dropped the gifts on the floor in front of them; the cake exploded all over the ground. Jack smiled at his accomplishment as they looked on in total astonishment and confusion.
“You really know how to take a joke too far.” Nina said furiously.
“Aw, I’m sure he didn’t mean anything by it, Nina.” Eve tried.
Jack was suddenly confused, didn’t he get the gifts right? The poor boy didn’t have enough money to buy perfume for either of them, which he most likely wouldn’t have done sensibly anyway. He apologized and walked away in shame, not knowing what do or how to deal with the situation. Just then, Ellen showed up.
“Hi, Jack. What seems to be the matter?”
“I gave Eve and Nina presents. They didn’t like them.” He said sadly.
“Aw, that’s too bad. Don’t worry about it, they’re just being spoiled brats. I would appreciate anything that was given to me, whether it was in my best tastes or not. You don’t happen to have anything for me, do you Jack?” Ellen bit her lip.
“I’m not giving you your dog back, if that’s what you mean.” Jack said angrily and walked away, but stopped and turned to stick out his tongue at her.
“Jack!” the mayor called, just as Jack was on his way out of town square. “You must come and meet my daughter, Jack.” He stepped towards him. “This is Maria. Maria, this is the new farm boy, Jack.” The mayor said as a beautiful young girl stepped forward and curtsied before him. She had long blue hair and wore a schoolgirl’s outfit. She was nothing like Eve or Nina in any way, but retained her femininity, unlike Ann or Ellen. There was a certain eminence radiating from her, some kind of power that told him that this was a very special girl who was both devoted and kind.
“Poisonous mushrooms and weeds.” Jack whispered to himself.
“Pleased to meet you, sir.” She said shyly.
“Meet to please you.”
“Ah, the dance is beginning! Why don’t you ask her to dance with you, Jack?” the mayor asked.
Jack nodded, not thinking about the fact that he did not know how to dance. Together, they joined hands and met in the middle of the square with the rest of the young people of the village. One by one, the girls circled around their partners, while the young men moved gracefully along. Jack looked around, clueless as to what to do.
“You all look very stupid.” He laughed out loud.
As uncomfortable as he was, Jack was truly in awe of how Maria danced. Her eyes were shut, her movements flawless, and her glow… there was truly something special about this girl, but Jack couldn’t understand what. Perhaps this was the girl for him, above the rest. Looking around for an easy answer, he glanced at Eve and Nina as they danced. More beautiful than ever, but why did they not emanate the same wonderful glow that Maria did?
Putting his hand on Maria’s shoulders, Jack told her to stop dancing.
“Is something the matter, Jack?” Maria looked very concerned.
“Could you kick their asses?” he pointed towards the other girls.
“…Wh…why would I want to do that?” she could barely spit out the words now.
“They said you are a dumb dumb.” Jack’s facial expression never changed.
Maria considered this carefully before answering. “I believe… that they may feel ill towards me because of my father’s position in the town, and perhaps they are right to have such feelings. But my actions define who I am, and not my position. They must remember that God loves us all equally.”
Jack walked away. She sounded like a sermon, and he wouldn’t have any part of it. Maria was taken aback by what had just happened, although she did not fully understand his reasons for leaving.
Now, Jack may not have been the most polite fellow in town; but despite the way he acted, he really did like Maria. He just wished she wouldn’t talk. Ever. Now if only there were a way to get that perfume for the girls, he thought to himself.
“Jack,” Maria had followed him. “Did I say something to upset you?”
Jack almost panicked, there must be something to stop her from talking! He looked around quickly, there was nothing around him but decorations. That’s it! He thought. Quickly, he grabbed a bunch of flowers from the wall beside him and held them out for Maria.
“Oh, how… thoughtful.” She took them from him.
“Yeah, I think a lot.” Jack agreed. “I brought them from home.”
Knowing that he was lying, the kind girl thought nothing of it. She knew he was embarrassed, and people who are embarrassed lie.
“I think they are beautiful. Thank you. I must be going now, I promised the priest that I would help him set up for tomorrow’s charity event in the church. Good-bye, and it was nice to finally meet you.” She smiled and walked away.
Charity…
“For me?” he reached into his empty pockets. Whatever was he going to do about growing crops next season? The little elves that tended to his fields were all dead, and he still hadn’t figured out how to ‘spread his seeds’ yet. To his surprise, however, his pockets were not completely empty. The contents within consisted of weeds and a poisonous mushroom. It was only then that he thought perhaps maybe if he gave back to the community, they would be willing to help him out in times of need as well.
Filled with a sense of purpose, Jack walked confidently across town square with the weeds and mushroom held securely in his arms. With pride and amusement, he dropped the gifts at the feet of Ann, the tomboy he knew to be an inventor. He had never thought twice about her level of intelligence, always shunned the fact that this girl may one day create something worth his time; but today, it was in his best interest to pay her the attention she deserved and compliment her on her brilliance.
“Oh, you couldn’t afford perfume so you did what you could to get me a gift anyways?” her eyes lit up and the beginning of a smile formed across her face.
“Not exactly. Can you make me a sandwich?”

Intermission

It had been a very confusing day, and Jack was actually quite glad that it was finally over. He still had no clue what the girls liked or disliked, he just knew whom he liked and whom he disliked. Wasn’t that all that really mattered? The poor farmer boy still had a lot to learn about adulthood, but he surely couldn’t learn it all in one day.
“I don’t know what to do, Ruff.” Jack slumped down on his bed. Ruff was nowhere to be seen.
*Ruff* (muffled).
Jack walked over to the door and let his dog inside. “Don’t walk away from me when I’m talking to you!”
Suddenly, raindrops could be heard falling on the roof.
“Ohhhh! You love the rain, Ruff!” he jumped for joy before booting the pup back outside into the pouring rain.

Yeer:1 Munth:1 Day:23
2day I wos at the town box and I gived manee prezints too the gerls. Maria. I need muny reelee bad and sumhow I will come up with a way too git it. Donnt werry muther and fother, the farm is in good hanz. Flawers ar prittee. I hat perfyoom.

Having written yet again in the little journal, Jack’s day was complete and he could finally go to sleep.
“’Night Ruff.”

THE END

(When writing this, I found Jack’s inability to remember details about the girls really funny. Upon finishing it, I realized that all of us guys are the same way as Jack in that respect, and perhaps this episode should be a tribute to the women in our lives who will never understand why.)

[melody]

Haha... "ladyman." XD

Those last two episodes were great. I really like this so far.

[sbester]

EPISODE FIVE: RAINY DAY



On what was supposed to be a very hot and sunshiny summer day, it rained. It poured. Finally, it stormed. Jack, of course, loved the rain. He loved to laugh in it, he loved to play in it, he loved to sing and dance in it, and he loved to make a mess in it. Unfortunately, on this particular dark and stormy day, the roof of Jack’s house was leaking.
At first, the young rascal was overjoyed by the thought of his house becoming like a swimming pool, but then he realized it would be all for naught when he finally opened the door to the entrance. Being the sly chap that he was, he knew that his first course of action would be to take care of the leak on the inside. A bucket would have been sufficient if placed directly under the leak, but what was to happen when it overflowed? No, a bucket wouldn’t do at all. Instead, jack went out to his tool shed and grabbed his trust sledge hammer, still coated with the blood of the elf he had mutilated not one month ago. With a gigantic swing, Jack put a hole in his floor right under the leaky ceiling.
Proud of his smart thinking, he then decided that he could handle this entire job of fixing the roof on his own, without the help of the carpenter or his trusty aid.
A crash of thunder sounded quickly after a blast of lightning lit up the sky outside of Jack’s small farmhouse, scaring Jack’s little dog, Ruff, to the point of yelping.
“I’m not afraid at all.” Jack stood proudly.
The next step would be actually going on the roof and fixing the leak. Now, he could have waited until the storm was over, but his house may be flooded completely by that point. In the end, Jack made the decision to fix it now rather than later.
Back in the tool shed, Jack prepared the necessary equipment to complete the task. First, he was going to make steps on the side of his house to allow him to go on the rooftops whenever he pleased. For this, he fetched a hammer and some nails. The next step required that filled the hole. For that: chewing gum.
Soon, Jack was outside in the middle of the storm hammering nails deep into the side of his house. Considering his lack of competence, he did a fine job in the reckless destruction of the side wall, and was quickly able to climb the nails to the top of the roof with little difficulty.
Ruff watched from down below as Jack tried clumsily to walk along the slanted surface until slipping on the wet logs and falling helplessly to the dampened ground. This happened three times.
It was then that it occurred to the youngster that perhaps he should go find something in the shed to help him keep his balance while on the roof. Frustrated and embarrassed at having such difficulties, Jack marched angrily back to the shed where he searched long and hard for a long stick of some sort. There were no sticks to mention, but he did manage to find a long metal pole that perhaps may have been used for various jobs around the farm by his grandfather.
Jack went back outside into the worsening storm and again climbed up the side of the house to the roof where he attempted to plant the pole down between the wooden logs to help him gain his balance. This did not work, and Jack fell to the ground once more. Despite how he felt after this failed attempt, the brave little soldier got back up and continued to climb to the rooftops. This time his plan was foolproof, he drove the pole right through the logs and into the ceiling and held on tightly as he examined the roof for the source of the leak.
“I found it!” he yelled down to his loyal dog, and placed the chewing gum in the appropriate spot. Jumping up and down on the spot in celebration led to yet another fall, as the pole stayed planted in the roof.
“Well, that takes care of that!” Jack grinned down at Ruff proudly.
CRASH!
Lightning struck the pole in a quick flash and within seconds the roof was on fire.
“What are the chances of that!?” Jack cried.

Intermission

The boy and his dog stared as the flames began to engulf the whole of the rooftops.
“It’s okay, pal, the fire can’t get to the inside of the house.” Jack reassured his friend. “Plus, I’m pretty sure the rain will put it out.”
But the rain did not work fast enough, and it soon became apparent to the farmer that the situation was becoming very critical very fast. After numerous attempts to convince Ruff to go get help, Jack decided it was all up to him once again.
At a fast pace, Jack ran inside the house and grabbed his favorite belongings to move them to the henhouse.
First, he grabbed his diary and ran it over to its new location. Then, he struggled to carry the television out, which ended in him dragging it through the mud across the way. The last thing was his bed. It was then that he realized the fire was now on the inside of the house and would soon engulf the entire premises.
With all his might, he pulled the bed out from the corner of the room, and then got in behind it and pushed. All was going well until one of the bed legs got stuck in the hole he had recently created under the leaking ceiling.
“I know what you are trying to do, God, but I will NOT go to church!” Jack tried lifting the bed, but to no avail. The roof was now beginning to collapse, and Jack realized he was running out of time.
Just then, the pole that had been wedged in the roof fell down right in front of the bed. Jack attempted to pick it up, but it was too hot and he quickly dropped it. He could not for the life of him figure out how the pole had survived so long when his roof had easily been burned to ashes.
Ruff barked weakly from outside the burning house, and Jack took that as a signal to leave. There was nothing more that could be done for the home, and Jack would have to find something else to sleep in from now on. Side by side, the boy and his dog stood watching as the house collapsed into a flaming heap before them.
“Oops.”
Then Jack realized something, if the villagers found out what had happened, he would be cast out and would have to go back home to his parents and admit his failure. No matter what, Jack had to make sure that no one ever found out about this! It would mean the end of him.
The only thing he could think to do was to go to town and make sure that no one came to visit him today, even though it was still storming terribly and no one would be outside anyways… it didn’t occur to poor old Jack. Running at a fast pace towards town, Ruff following close behind as their shoes filled with water, Jack’s heart started racing very fast at what may soon happen to him.
The town looked deserted, and Jack thought perhaps his luck was changing for the better. He then began to think hard about what could be done to fix the situation. The obvious answer was to rebuild, and rebuild he would!
“It can’t be that hard, can it?” Jack turned to Ruff for guidance. “People make houses, and I’m people! All I need is some wood. And if I finish before the storm ends, no one will know a thing!” he smiled excitedly at his resolve.
Before heading up to the mountains to cut some trees down, Jack and Ruff made a quick stop back at the farm to pick up an axe from the tool shed, which was now his new home. The mountains had trees all around, and Jack wouldn’t have any problem getting enough wood. Choosing the biggest tree he could find, he began to hack away at it in hopes that it would come down easily. It took longer than he had expected, but eventually the tree came down with a thud. The next tree was a little bit smaller and Jack was able to chop it down with little problem.
The third tree was a problem, although he did not know why. Something told him deep inside that he should not touch this tree and that he should leave it alone, but he couldn’t remember why; so he began to hack at it anyway. The surface of the tree seemed thicker somehow, and jack was having a very hard time cutting through… but that didn’t stop him, nothing would. With all his might, he pressed on and soon he was able to knock it down.
What he saw next reminded him why he was not supposed to knock this particular tree down. This tree was the tree that the carpenter lived in, and where he was at this very moment recovering from last season’s ‘incident’. The house remained the same, except that it now had no walls or ceiling to protect it, and the carpenter was just waking up from a nap to find that his tree had been knocked down.
Seeing this, Jack froze in panic. The carpenter looked around, unable to think straight and refusing to believe what his eyes were telling him.
“Some storm we’re having today.” Jack smiled as he hid the axe behind his back.
“J…Jack? What happened?”
Jack ran away, leaving the axe on the ground. This was the last straw. The carpenter could not take this troubled boy or his bologna any longer, it was time to get even with him. The carpenter, in a rage of fury, decided he was going to kill the destroyer of him home and his health. Getting out of his now soaking wet bed, the carpenter picked up the axe from the ground and began walking towards town where Jack had run for safety.
“This time you’ve gone too far, runt!”

Intermission

Jack did not know what to do now. The carpenter had caught him in the act, he was finished! The carpenter was probably on his way to the mayor’s house to tell him what had happened right then, and there was nothing he could do about it. Unless…
Despite how out of breath the young farmer was from all of the running, he jogged at a steady pace towards the mayor’s house in hopes of beating the carpenter there. His mission was a success. Knocking on the door, Jack began to call for help.
The door opened slowly and a tired mayor could be seen. “Jack? What seems to be the problem?”
“I’m going to kill you!” the carpenter yelled from twenty feet away, holding high the axe that was used to cut down his home.
“Oh, my…” the mayor looked on in shock.
“What did you do to him?” Jack stared stupidly at the mayor.
“I think he means you!” the mayor grabbed Jack and pulled him inside, tightly shutting the door and locking it for security.
Like a scene from a horror movie, the carpenter began to hack at the front door of the mayor’s house, determined to end the life of the poor unlucky young man who had accidentally destroyed his life.
Inside the house, the family began to panic. They had no clue what had driven the carpenter to such extremes, but they knew that they had to do something to protect themselves or be murdered in a matter of minutes. The mayor, his lovely wife, and their precious daughter all stood close to each other as they discussed a plan of escape while Jack fixed himself a snack in the kitchen. When he turned around, the family was gone, apparently forgetting the poor defenseless youth by himself.
With a final swing of the axe, the carpenter had penetrated through the doorway and entered the home in a mad frenzy.
“You!!! Why did you take everything from me!? Why! You murdered an elf, you left me for dead, you chopped down my home… and for what?” the carpenter lifted the axe high in the air, closing the gap between him and Jack.
“I have good answers for all of those.” Jack proclaimed.
“It’s too late for that.” The carpenter began to swing downward at the boy. Jack closed his eyes tightly as he was about to meet his end, but it never came. When he opened his eyes, he saw that Ruff was biting the carpenter’s leg and refused to let go. The carpenter kicked hard in attempt to rid himself of the dog, and Jack took his chance to escape.
Jack ran back out the front door and the carpenter soon followed, now running at an equally fast pace.
“Put the axe down!” called the voice of the bartender. He was standing not 10 feet away, joined by the carpenter’s worried younger apprentice, the fisherman, and the town priest.
“He… he… he!!!!” the carpenter couldn’t think straight. He was too angry, too overcome with rage to speak the words he wanted to.
“It’s okay, we can fix this. You just need to calm down and put down the weapon.” The priest assured him.
The carpenter did not know what to do. With all the courage left in his heart, he dropped the axe and surrendered.
Hearing all the commotion, other townsfolk began pouring into the stormy streets to see what had happened.
“We’ll fix this.” The priest walked up to him and smiled. “We want to help.”
“Speak for yourself! He tried to kill us!” the mayor and his family showed up.
“He broke down my door!” the mayor’s wife cried in peril.
“He scared me half to death!” Maria was in tears.
“I just came from the mountains, he chopped down all the trees!” the fisherman yelled in outrage.
“He…” Jack was feeling left out by the accusations. “He burned down my house!”
Shocked, the townsfolk went nuts. They yelled, they screamed, they cursed at the carpenter. The man was ruined, and now unarmed.

Intermission

It was decided to send the carpenter away. Something had thrown him over the edge of sanity, and there was no saving him now. The townspeople felt sorry for Jack, and everyone offered to help rebuild his home just the way it was… but bigger.
The carpenter’s apprentice became the new carpenter in town and everyone was happy with how things were going from then on, especially Jack.
A doghouse was built for Ruff in honor of his brave actions in saving his master’s life. The people praised the young pup as a hero, and everyone met in the church the next day to thank God for allowing Jack to survive all of the ordeals that faced him. Jack was absent.

Yeer: 1 Munth: 2 Day: 11
The farm didnnt bern daoon I swaar. It got biggr. The carpintr wint crazie and tride to kill me but im aliv. Hes gonn nao. Ruff got a doggee haoose to and its cool. I miss yoo both a lot and im ok. I donnt lik storms aneemore.

Curling up in his nice new bed, Jack drifted off to sleep.

THE END

(Hope you enjoyed this change of pace!)

[melody]

Oooh, action.

It was great!

[sbester]

EPISODE SIX: HARVEST



There are two things evident about Jack. The first is that he is not socially experienced. The second is that his stupidity can lead to danger quite easily.
The harvest festival is the celebration held by the (unspecified name) townsfolk every fall, when all the people are encouraged to bring their own ingredient to add to a large stew pot which is later stirred and cooked thoroughly so that everyone can eat and enjoy it. Being a very clueless bunch, off in a secluded town where almost no one cares to venture, the townspeople are nearly as socially dense as our old buddy Jack. It is for that reason, that no one caught on to the dangers of inviting the young farmer to the festival this year.
“And be sure to be on time!” the mayor added cheerfully before leaving Jack’s home.
“Yes, sir!” Jack barely paid attention. He had always wondered why he was the only one in town who seemed to lose track of time. This was because Jack did not own a clock or a watch. Idiot.
When Jack shut the door, he realized that this particular festival was going to be his one true chance of the year to prove himself as a capable farmer. A smile began to form across his lips as he imagined the looks on people’s faces as he dropped his gorgeous crop into the stew. How jealous they would be, and how the girls would praise him on his efforts. This event could make or break him.
Another knock at the door came suddenly. It was the local fortune teller, come with news of the future from the great beyond. Seeing the familiar face excited Jack very much, and he gave her a big hug before any words could be spoke.
“I come with… let go, I can’t breathe. News!” she said in an eerie tone of voice.
“No thanks, I hate reading.”
“Not the newspaper, retard! I bring news of the future… stay away from the harvest festival tomorrow! Stay Away!” she warned as she walked away, still staring at the confused boy.
“The midget said to go… so I’m gonna go.” Jack blinked his answer to himself. Time to choose a vegetable!
But when Jack looked into the fields, he realized that there were no crops. The idiot still hadn’t learned how to manage them, or even where to begin. It seemed he would have to improvise… somehow.
It was a terrible situation, but with absolutely no effort put into his farming duties, it was no wonder he found himself in it. With Ruff by his side, Jack walked into town to try and figure out a solution.
Whence the boy and his dog found their way to the small park consisting of two trees and a garden, Jack sat down to think some more. There were always different things growing up in the mountains, perhaps he could take a look there. Or maybe the fisherman could teach him how to catch fish… (let’s thank God that didn’t come to pass).
Suddenly, a cloud of smoke circled around the young farmer and a mysterious man appeared out of nowhere.
“Hello, Jack… I’ve been waiting for you!” the small, crazy man giggled to himself.
“…Jesus?” Jack’s mouth hung open in astonishment.
“Erm… not quite. They call me… the peddler!”

Intermission

“Oh, I know you! Didn’t you fight Batman?” Jack bounced around excitedly.
“No, that was the Riddler. I am here to save you from failure, Jack. Think of me as a more masculine fairy godmother of sorts. I have something that will be of great value to you.” The little man smiled widely.
“Gimme, gimme, gimme!” Jack held out his hands to the stranger.
“Uh, uh, uh! Not so fast, Jack. It wouldn’t be fair for me to give these valuable items to you for nothing, don’t you agree?”
“No.”
The peddler now looked somewhat un-amused. “These Rare seeds cost 2000 gold. If you don’t pay up, I’m afraid I cannot give them to you.”
Jack considered this for a moment. If this man had been waiting for him, he must know a lot of things. If he knew so much, then why the hell didn’t he know that Jack was broke?
“Something smells fishy.” Jack crinkled his nose at the man.
“Oh? I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“I mean you stink. You should shower.” Jack instructed sincerely.
“Yes, well… I guess I’ll be off to go do that. Unless…”
“Okay, bye!” Jack turned away.
“Wait!” the peddler yelled. “Unless there were another way for you to pay me.” He said, smiling ever so sinisterly.
Jack thought long and hard for an answer, but couldn’t think of one.
“Tell me,” the peddler continued. “What is your most prized possession?”
“What’s that?”
“The thing of most value in which you own.”
Jack was even more confused now.
“What’s the bestest thing in the entire world?” the peddler was getting annoyed.
“Ruff!” Jack held his dog high in the air.
“Ah, well then perhaps we have a deal?” the peddler giggled again happily.
“What deal?”
“My seeds for your dog.”
“How about you pay me 2000 gold for my dog, then I pay you 2000 gold for the seeds, and then we can sit down and sing a song!” Jack liked this idea better, it was much more fair.
“I don’t have two thou… very well.” The peddler used a chocolate coin in place of the gold, knowing Jack wouldn’t know the difference at all. With that, he gave the rare seeds to Jack and disappeared into another cloud of smoking, laughing loudly to no one in particular.
“What a nice criminal.” Jack began the venture home.
Upon returning to the farm, Jack buried the seeds under the soil and watered them in hopes that they would bloom into wondrous vegetables the next day.

Yeer: 1 Munth: 3 Day: 11
I lost mi dog but I got seeds 4 him. I feel bad but I no that u will bee praood uv me 4 it win tomoro I will b the bestest at the festvl.

Jack woke up bright and early the next day and ran outside as fast as he could to see what had happened in his fields. To his surprise, something had actually grown overnight… flowers. Studying them hard for a moment, Jack tried to think of any sort of situation in which the townsfolk may let him put any sort of plant into the stew. Even Jack wasn’t that stupid.
“He… took my puppy.” Jack had tears in his eyes now, never before had he seen this dark side of life. He was duped. There was only one thing he could do now, and that was to get even with the mysterious stranger he had met the day before.
With no dog at his side, the sad boy walked back inside his house to plan his revenge.

Intermission

The harvest festival began in the middle of town square, where most of the yearly festivals were held. As expected, the evil peddler had shown up to try and talk the citizens into buying his rare seeds; but Jack was ready for him.
As the day went on, the people chatted and laughed and drank while the newly arrived guests dropped their offerings into the large pot of stew. The peddler, ofcourse, had nothing to offer of his own, nor did the little weasel think twice about his rude gesture. Most of the townsfolk were smart enough to walk away from him when offered a bargain, but it was Nina that fell victim to his lies first, angering Jack from behind a wall as he hid away from the eyes of the people.
Seeing that the peddler had caught the attention of the cute girl, Jack knew that this was the time to strike. Jumping from out of his hiding space in a costume he had been saving for Halloween this month, Jack surprised his enemy.
“Stop, villain!” he called out to the peddler. The people all stopped what they were doing to look at Jack in his ridiculous outfit, consisting of his regular everyday clothes, a small mask, and a cape.
“Who are you?” the peddler inquired.
“Oh, for the love of all things holy…” the fortune teller could be heard from the crowd. “Son of a bitch just won’t listen! I’m going home!” she stormed off.
“I am the great… Farm Boy!” Jack announced. “ I have come to get my doggy, my mean, my dog back!”
“Oh, it’s just you.” The peddler laughed. “You look ridiculous!”
“No, you look ridickis!”
“Jack, is that you?” the mayor stepped forward.
Darn! Farm Boy thought to himself. My secret identity has been found out! I have to think fast!
“Nope.”
“Prove it!” the mayor cocked his eyebrow in suspicion.
In one almost fluid motion, Farm Boy kicked the mayor in his special area and watched as the poor mayor fell to the ground in pain.
“It isn’t Jack!” the mayor announced, shocking the townsfolk into loud gasps.
“Clever move, hero! Let’s see how you fair against my bag of wonders!” the peddler threw his sack of mystery at Farm Boy, which he then tripped over and fell to the ground helplessly.
“It has been a pleasure, Farm Boy, but I really must be leaving.” The peddler said as a ball of smoke exploded at his feat.
“Not so fast!” Farm Boy ran into the smoke to catch the evil fiend before he could get away, but alas, he was too late. It was impossible to see through the thick blanket of smoke, and Farm Boy swung wildly about him.
“Ow, who hit me?” Nina whined.
“Sorry, I mean… it was the bad guy!”
“Farm Boy?”
“No, the peddler!”
“Why is he the bad guy? Farm Boy kicked the mayor in the balls.” Nina said angrily.
“I just don’t like him.” Farm boy dismissed her.
Out of the thick fog, Farm Boy was kicked hard in the stomach and fell to the ground once again, this time in pain.
“You don’t give up, do you, Farm Boy?” the peddler laughed.
“You took my dog! For that you must die!” Farm Boy lunged at the shadowy figure with all his weight, knocking the villain down.
“Ahh! You have found my weakness, physical violence!” the peddler cringed in hatred. Farm Boy held him tightly, refusing to let go.
With all of his strength, the peddler wiggled free and got up to run away. Farm Boy reached out and grabbed hold of the evil man’s foot, tripping him. He fell right into the boiling pot of stew which he knocked over, spilling it all over the church-going boy from down the street.
“Wahh!” the boy cried as the stew burned his skin horrifically.
Phew, Farm Boy sighed in relief. Good thing no one likes that kid.
Farm Boy then continued to beat the living crud out of his enemy until the peddler finally gave in and swore to return the dog to him immediately.
“I’ll bring him to Jack’s farm, just don’t hurt me any more!” the peddler cried and ran away.
The crowd cheered for the new hero and Farm Boy took a bow.
“Whenever there is trouble… don’t bother calling me. I’m busy.” Farm Boy disappeared.
Minutes later, Jack returned to the festival in without his disguise on. The people were all talking about the events that had just unfolded, and everyone was eager to tell Jack the amazing story. Bored, he walked away. As usual.

Intermission

Upon his return home, Jack was happy to find that Ruff had been returned safe and sound. He hugged him tightly and promised he’d never pawn the poor animal ever again. With the stew being knocked over, no one had realized that Jack had forgotten to bring anything for it, and the rest of the festival had been a fun celebration. He chatted with all of the girls, ignored most of the elders, and enjoyed thoroughly his run in with the evil peddler.
Jack had established himself as a true hero amongst the town, and even though they didn’t know it was him, he was satisfied.
Tired out from the long day, Jack picked up his journal and began to write in it.

Yeer: 1 Munth: 3 Day: 12
Batman aynt got nuthin on me.

THE END

(Perhaps we’ll be seeing more of Farm Boy in the future…)

[melody]

#lmfao#

That was great!

[LC]

XD I agree with Melody

Farm boy! XD

[melody]

Must have more! XD

[sbester]

EPISODE SEVEN: DOUBLE DATE



Fall was a very busy time for everyone in town, especially for Jack. It was the farmer’s job to ship enough crops during that season so that he had enough money to last through the winter. As usual, Jack was not making very much progress. As he sat outside on the ground with his little dog, Ruff, he thought long and hard about what should be done to save the farm.
Just then, Eve poked her head from around the side of Jack’s home. She was as pretty as he had ever seen, and easily took his mind off the matters at hand.
“Hi, Jack. I was just stopping by to see how you were doing.”
“Good. Bye.” Jack figured the conversation was over.
“Hahaha, and to talk, ofcourse.” Eve laughed. “I was thinking, Autumn is a very tough time on everyone, and it must be especially difficult on someone so new to this way of life. Perhaps you would like to take a day off and spend the evening with me?”
Jack was excited by this, but disturbed by the fact that a ‘day off’ was nothing really out of the ordinary for him this season… or any season.
“Yes.” Jack said slowly.
“Great! Meet me at the pub around 8, okay?” and with that, Eve was gone.
It then occurred to Jack that he had no way of telling the time, and he had to use what little money he had stored away to go buy a watch.
On his way to town, Jack stopped to consider who he would ask where he could buy one. It came to him almost immediately, Nina! Nina was knowledgeable in all things. It helped that her house was closest to his farm because Jack did not like to walk long distances.
He opened the door to her home and was greeted by her mother.
“Hello, Jack Dear. How are you?”
“I need to talk to Nina.” He replied gravely.
Nina’s mother went to Nina’s room and summoned the beautiful girl.
“Heya, Jack! I didn’t expect to see you here. You told my mother you needed to speak to me about something?”
“Yes, it’s very important.” Jack blinked harshly at her. She really was a sweet girl, and was an even match for Eve as far as looks go.
“Well then I’m all ears.” She smiled.
Jack considered this statement for a moment. It was plain to see that she was lying, perhaps she inherited that from her mother, the con artist. Poor girl.
“So,” she pushed on. “What is it?”
“I don’t remember.” Jack surprised himself with his own truth.
“Aw, did you come here to ask me out, Jack? You’re so shy, it’s sweet. Ofcourse I’ll go on a date with you! Pick me up at a quarter to 8, okay?”
“I need to buy a watch!” Jack remembered finally, forgetting the awful situation he was setting himself up for.
“Hmm, I don’t think the hawker is in town today, just take mine instead. That is, if you don’t mind having a pink watch.” She winked.
He did mind, but he accepted the tool anyways. As he walked back home, something was troubling him. What is a quarter?

Intermission

Jack met Eve at the pub right on time, being unsure what time he was to pick Nina up at. The two took a small romantic hike up to the top of the mountains, hand in hand, and all was going well as Eve continued to talk and Jack pretended to listen. They sat down and Eve set up a picnic for them.
“Isn’t this romantic, Jack?” Eve batted her eyelashes at him as she prepared the food.
“Yep. I have to go now.”
“What?! Why?!” Eve panicked. “You ARE coming back, aren’t you?”
“…To finish the picnic… yes!” Jack made the correct decision. Jack was only just beginning to realize the trouble he had gotten himself into.
Quickly, Jack ran down the mountains and made his way to Nina’s house. It was now 8:15.
“Jack, you’re late.” Nina answered the door.
“Could be.”
“Oh, you must have thought I said a quarter ‘after’ 8, silly. Oh well, it’s no big deal. You’re here and that is all that matters.” She came outside and locked the door behind her.
Jack was just about to lead her up the mountains to join in on his date with Eve, when Nina interrupted his plan with one of her own.
“Okay, first, I want to go to the park! And then we can go to town square for a romantic walk under the moonlight!” Nina bounced around in anticipation. Jack had no clue what to say to this, so he agreed with a wary nod.
The park was barely big enough for the two of them to sit, and it was a little awkward being in the middle of the town for everyone to see them.
“I can’t believe you asked me out, Jack! For a while I thought you liked Eve instead of me, but I guess I was wrong. Isn’t it crazy how things somehow work out in your favor like that? Gaaawwwdd, she’s gonna be soooo jealous when I get to tell her we’re out on a date! I can’t wait!”
“That reminds me, I have to leave now.” Jack stood up to go.
“What? But we’ve only just started our date, am I boring you already?” she pouted her lips like a puppy dog.
Jack almost said yes, but was afraid of what the consequences of beign wrong would be. “I’ll come back?” he asked.
“Okay, good. Don’t be too long!”
With that, Jack ran all the way back up the mountain pass to where he had left Eve and the picnic. When he returned, everything was set out perfectly and Eve sat smiling at him.
“That took a while, where did you go?” she inquired.
“To the park. I have a message for you from Nina.” Jack smiled proudly, happy to know he remembered over the long hike back.
“Oh, you saw her?”
“Yes. She wants you to know that we are on a date.” Jack continued his dumb stare.
“Oh, she knows about us, does she?” Eve laughed evilly. “Well ofcourse I know it’s a date, I set it up. Oh my God, she must be so jealous!” she celebrated.
Jack was now totally confused. Was that what Nina had meant, he didn’t think so. But Eve was smart too, perhaps she knew better than he.
“Yes, she said that word too. Jellez.”
“And she admitted it to you? Haha, I feel bad for her.” Eve pretended.
“Me too.” Jack agreed. “I forgot to do something though, be back in a minute.” Jack raced back to town before Eve had a chance to object.
Nina was sitting in the park, just where he had left her.
“What took you?” she asked.
“I was talking to Eve.” Jack was afraid of how Nina would react to this.
“Isn’t that funny that we were just talking about her? Does she know we’re on a date?”
“Um…” Jack didn’t know why people asked two questions at once, he never knew which to answer first. “Yes.”
“Haha, poor Eve.”
“Yes.” Jack answered the second question.
“Where was it that you went? That is, if you don’t mind my asking.”
“Poor Eve.” Jack agreed.
“Hmm?” Nina was confused.
“I went nowhere.”
“But… where did you see Eve?”
“I didn’t say anything.” Jack was now sweating.
“Huh?”
“I told you, nowhere.”
“Jack, you’re confusing me.” Nina complained, a little worried.
“Nevermind, I’ll be right back.” He ran away.
Jack made it back to the mountains as fast as he could, but when he arrived, Eve was looking pretty annoyed.
“Where did you go this time?”
“Food!” Jack grabbed the basket of food and stuffed his face, hoping the girl would relax and forget the matter completely.
“Jack is everything alright?” Eve now looked concerned.
“Not at all.” Jack confessed.
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“I can’t tell you.” Jack whispered in secret.
“Why not? I’m here for you, please just trust me, Jack.” Eve was almost in tears, she really wanted to believe that the two shared something special.
“You might get mad.” Jack warned.
“Tell me!”
Jack took a deep breath. “We’re on a date.”
“That scares you? You’re afraid to be taking such a large step, I understand, I really do, Jack! We can do this together, though! Together we can get through it.” She held his hand firmly, but warmly.
Jack was surprised, she seemed to be taking this well. He had just confessed to being on a date with Nina, for the second time that night, had he not?
“Wow, I didn’t expect this!” Jack suddenly perked up. With that, he was gone again.
“Just what in the heck is going on inside that boy’s head?” Eve found herself suddenly alone once again.
Jack was almost completely out of energy, and the jog back really got to him. Nina was still in the park, waiting irritably.
“Jack, where do you keep disappearing to?” she tapped her foot on the ground angrily.
“I’m on a date.” He confessed, hoping to get the same reaction he had gotten from Eve.
“Duh. Are we going to town square, or not?”
“Yes.” Jack just wished this night would be over. He really had absolutely no clue what was going on, and he suspected that neither did they.
“Finally! Okay, I’ll meet you there. Nature calls.” She excused herself.
Jack let out an inaudible gasp, “Nature talks to her.” He whispered.
“Jack, what are you doing here?” Eve appeared almost out of nowhere.
“Standing uncomfortably.” Jack scratched the back of his neck. He was a nervous wreck at this point.
“And who were you talking to, I heard voices in the darkness and I know one of them was you.”
Jack looked around cautiously and then whispered to her, “It was nature!”
“That’s stupid.” Eve was outraged. She knew he was lying to her, and she was not impressed with his behavior tonight.
“Can we go back to where we were before we came to this place…? Nowhereland?” Jack pleaded.
“Why? What is with all these secrets? What are you hiding from me?”
There it started again, two questions at a time. Did she want two separate answers, or should he try to combine them into one?
“I…”
“Eve? What are you doing here? And Jack, you’re supposed to be at town square!” Nina had returned.
Eve turned to look at Jack questioningly, he stared back at her.
“I believe she asked you first.” Jack told her.
“Jack and I are on a date!” Eve almost yelled at Nina.
“What!? Jack is on a date with…”
They both yelled, “JACK!!!!!!”
“I’m right here! Why are you both yelling?” Jack clamped his ears.

Intermission

Nina stayed to yell at Jack for ten minutes after the truth had been revealed. If Jack had been smart, he would have defended himself by saying that he really did try to tell them that he was dating both of them that night… but he was having a hard enough time trying to keep up with her outraged words as it was, and did not speak.
Eve went straight home, wrote a letter expressing her hurt feelings, and dropped it off before he even got home himself. It said things like: Egotistical, self centered and backstabbing jerk, followed by irresponsible, greedy and stupid moron.
After reading the letter, it was pretty clear to Jack what he needed to do. He needed to buy a dictionary.
The dating world was even harder than he had originally thought, and he decided that next time he wouldn’t have two dates going at the same time. Apparently, women get pissed that way.
Still confused over the whole thing, Jack crawled into bed with his journal and thought about what to write in it.

Yeer: 1 Munth: 3 Day: 25
Deer muther and fother, Im a litl bit broke and I needd sum munny. Gerlfrendz arr expensiv and I nao hav 2!

THE END

(Aha! My first day off in a week and I was finally able to write this! I wonder who Jack should end up with after this fiasco…)

[melody]

Haha.... you're very good at making Jack stupid. XD
And, the way you write conversations is well-done.

Favorite part-
“Eve? What are you doing here? And Jack, you’re supposed to be at town square!” Nina had returned.
Eve turned to look at Jack questioningly, he stared back at her.
“I believe she asked you first.” Jack told her.

More soon!