Sorry!

[Butterscotch]

So, I just wanted to apologize for my behavior over the lest few months and offer an explanation. I know I've been crabby and short tempered and not really posting all that much, and I'm very sorry.

It's in my nature to hide my problems and keep my worries to myself, so this isn't an easy post for me to write and it's a bit long-winded, but hopefully this will explain a lot of things.

Back in the fall the company I work for announced they would be closing many stores, but they did not announce which stores. This uncertainty and and anxiety made me very stressed. I began to have trouble sleeping again and I found myself gritting my teeth so that my entire upper body was tense and I began to get migraines again.

Shortly before Christmas the company announced they were filing for bankruptcy and this added a new level of stress. Plus, I had the usual stress of preparing for the holidays.

After Christmas my anxiety began to give way to apathy and depression. I lost interest in many things, especially art. I've had to force myself to draw comics and found it difficult to focus on them when I did. I've managed to keep updating The Reborn, but MDJ and Dream About Me and other art projects fell to the side.

My health has been affected as well; besides the insomnia and migraines, I've been getting sick frequently.

Things are looking up for me though. I learned a few days ago that my store is NOT closing and I will be keeping my job. I know it sounds cliche, but I feel as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. My mood has improved drastically and I've been regaining interest in many of the things I'd lost interest in, including art.

I want to apologize. I wish I had told you guys earlier about my problems. It's only been in the last day or so that I really began to understand how deeply the uncertainty had affected my life. I hope that you guys can find it in your hearts to understand and forgive me.

TL;DR: Thought I might lose my job, anxiety and uncertainty made me depressed. Found out I'm NOT losing my job and feel more optimistic.

[Simfarmguru]

You have my sympathy, as my hubbie has been out of work for 3 months after resigning his dream job to help with moving. He now is looking forward to an even BETTER job that will allow him to use his skills as a blacksmith, something he never hoped to do professionally.

I also know a girl on DA who's from South Africa whose been going through this sort of misery. World wide Depressions can hit hard everywhere.

I'm glad you're feeling better. This year seems to have been gloomy holidays for everyone. The good part of the holidays was our decision to celebrate Hanukkah. It's a lot less commercialized, so not so many gloomy ads for things we couldn't buy...

So in short, you're forgiven, I know EXACTLY how you feel!

[Mage the Observer]

I am well aware of the issues depression can bring, so I don't think I can complain. Glad things are looking up for you, though.

[Butterscotch]

Thanks guys

[BorderWolf]

*starts to toss two pennies, but then tosses two quarters.*

I know what going through depression is like, and I'm needing to take medication for it. So, I'm glad that you are getting better, and I do forgive you.

[Butterscotch]

Thanks Border.

I don't like to talk about it, but I've struggled with depression before. I've always gotten over it in time and it's been years since my last major period of depression. The symptoms were different this time too. In the past it was more like just being very sad and crying, but this time was just apathy.