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Post by karenfreak on Dec 26, 2006 7:34:47 GMT -5
Chapter 1
Lillie woke up and looked around her tiny house. She was living in an abandoned town. Why live there? There was a storm and the whole town got whiped out. She was the only person left as everyone had left the night before on the boat. She had been by herself for 15 days now. Suddenly she remembered, if she dropped a flower in the Goddess Pond she would get a wish. She walked out side and found a flower. Then she walked up to the Hot Springs and stared at the Goddess Pond. She dropped the flower in and suddenly there was a bright light. "Hi!" She said. "Hi. What is your wish?" The Harvest Goddess asked. "Can we have more people in this place?" Lillie asked. "Real people or ghosts?" She asked. "Real people please..." Lillie said. "Bye..." The harvest Goddess said.
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Mel
Small Milk
teh fluffies
Posts: 1
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Post by Mel on Dec 26, 2006 15:37:23 GMT -5
Umm... do you want advice on the beginning of your story since you put it in the workshop?
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Post by karenfreak on Dec 30, 2006 4:18:02 GMT -5
yeah. I need some help to make it more interesting
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Mel
Small Milk
teh fluffies
Posts: 1
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Post by Mel on Dec 30, 2006 12:35:11 GMT -5
Well, you can explain the conditions of the abandoned town. Describe what it looks like, how the buildings are torn down, etc.
Also, you can show how she's feeling more. Put more emotion into your story when she asks for people from the Harvest Goddess.
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Post by Kikyou Saya Rin-Ren on Dec 30, 2006 20:14:43 GMT -5
And give a little detail to the harvest goddess. I don't really understand this part:
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Post by karenfreak on Jan 1, 2007 7:24:46 GMT -5
Thanks. I thank you all. And Happy New Year
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