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Post by Banika Conchita on Nov 20, 2007 16:15:26 GMT -5
#hug2# yay! A new story! ;D Here it is.
The Last Choice
Prologue
The room was blurry and spinning. Claire wiped away the tears from her eyes holding a crumpled blue feather in her hands. Her head hit the table. Her house was fully expanded, she had a kitchen, bathroom, barn, everything. 1 cow and 4 chickens. Her life was almost perfect. But she needed a husband. Everyone in Mineral Town were married, though. Cliff to Ann, Kai to Popuri, Rick to Karen, Gray to Mary, Doctor to Elli. There was a farm next door, but the owner passed away a year ago. She wondered when her Mr. Right would come.
1.Jack comes to Mineral Town
Jack sat home alone. He was tired from work, which he hated. He went through his mail. He read a letter. He smiled. The letter read:
Hello Jack! As you know, the owner of the farm here in Mineral Town died last year. Upon further inspection of his house, we found his will. He is giving his farm to you. If you want you can come and live in it. You don’t have to though. But it will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks! -Thomas.
Jack smiled. He wrote a letter back to Thomas.
Dear Thomas,
The farm, eh? Well I would be glad to work on the farm. I will quit my job, pack my things and move out to the farm. See you in two or three days!
-Jack
Jack sealed the letter in the envelope, and put it in the mailbox.
3 DAYS LATER
Jack showed up at the farm. He smiled with excitment. He looked at the farm, his new home.
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Post by Coco on Nov 21, 2007 22:26:40 GMT -5
When are you going to continue on with the story?
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Post by Banika Conchita on Nov 21, 2007 22:30:34 GMT -5
*shrugs* I don't know. Why?
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Post by Coco on Nov 21, 2007 22:44:21 GMT -5
I dont know. I just liked it...
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Post by popkat on Nov 23, 2007 8:39:54 GMT -5
Wow! That's nice. Keep it up.
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Post by Banika Conchita on Nov 23, 2007 9:44:19 GMT -5
I dont know. I just liked it... Oh! Thanks so much! Wow! That's nice. Keep it up. Thanks, Hon! ;D
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Post by Banika Conchita on Nov 27, 2007 20:43:54 GMT -5
Jack threw his bags in the house and ran down the street. He desperately wanted a gf. So, he ran to every building, every place, but every girl in the village was taken. He went up to Rick, and asked him if there are any single girls. He said, "The girl, Claire, is single. She owns the farm next to yours." In a blast, Jack ran off to the farm next door to his. He ran up to the farm to see the girl. She turned back at him. She was working, weeding actually. Her hair was tangled and messy, her face dirty, and not the prettiest girl. She was as curvy as a pole; her overalls blotched with dirt spots. Now, Claire wasn't too happy with Jack's appearance either. His hair was also messy; he looked very frail and weak and was defiantly not the best looking guy. They both sighed. Jack rubbed his hand on his back and held it out. "Nice to meet you." Claire smiled. "N-nice to meet you too." Jack cleared his throat. "Let's get to the point. You want a husband, I want a wife. This is only to save our reputations. So, marry me" EDIT:spelling and grammer check on Microsoft word(the next on Kat will be checking
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Post by May on Nov 28, 2007 18:44:30 GMT -5
Good story, but I think you are moving a little too fast..But maybe I am too, keep up the good work
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Post by Coco on Nov 30, 2007 0:21:06 GMT -5
Im guessing this is going to be a funny story? But the last part was funny.....to me anyway xD
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Post by popkat on Nov 30, 2007 8:41:44 GMT -5
LOL You know what the problem is, spellings, punctuation and grammar. You know, this can end up a beautiful story if done properly. You have a good, wide imagination. I like that.
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Post by Banika Conchita on Nov 30, 2007 15:00:34 GMT -5
Thanks Hon!!!! Yes Coffee lover, some parts will be funny. Like Jack and Claire's constant arguing over things that mean nothing at all XD I'm not good at grammer! DX or spelling! (That's probably why I am getting a C in English)
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Post by Rozewater on Dec 4, 2007 19:07:20 GMT -5
Funny! ...But a bit fast.
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Post by Banika Conchita on Dec 4, 2007 19:21:31 GMT -5
It goes too fast to make Jack look more selfish. (Just look how he proposes!)
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Post by May on Dec 5, 2007 17:15:42 GMT -5
Yeah, good idea ^_^ it does make him look more selfish...
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Post by Pickle on Dec 14, 2007 23:26:13 GMT -5
Personally, I like the idea of the story. However, you make them sound a little too desperate, which is fine, but make it a very deep-down thingie. You should do like that one shakespeare play where they start out cold to eachother, then get close and stuff.
Or like, um...in order to keep their farms, they have to get married!
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