gofighter
Small Milk
"Oh Luigi! When cleaning the yard, let the small twigs lie!" -- Mario
Posts: 20
|
Post by gofighter on May 26, 2008 20:03:09 GMT -5
Okay, so this is my first fan fiction! Please comment, even if it is critisism! Thats okay with me! Okay, so this fan fiction is about May and Stu when they are 18. It is in the point of view of Stu. I have also added new characters of my own; Emma- Cliff and Ann's child; tomboy Naozumi- Jack and Karen's child; took over their farm Catherine- Kai and Popuri's child; girly and (ironically) hates the heat, so doesn't travel with her parents. She stays with her gradmother, Lilianna Peter- Mary and Gray's child; quiet and Stu's best friend Madison- Doctor and Elli's child; a toddler Please Enjoy! I will have Chapter 2 by tomorrow (Tues) or after tomorrow(Wed)! **Note: Bold= dream/memory**Note(2): This fan Fic is rated PG-13 for language, situations, and events
Chapter one “ Stu, you know how much I hate those creepy crawly freaks! Get this bug the heck away from me!” A brunette with chopped hair shouted as an olive-green creature was dangled inches from her frightened face.
“Awww! Come on, sis! He’ll do you no harm! He just wants to play!” A small scrawny black haired boy told his sister as he continued to approach her with the beetle.
“STU! GET THIS BUG AWAY FROM ME NOW!” The brunette was shacking with impregnable anger, slowly turning scarlet.
“Sis! Calm down! Look on the bright side! At least the little guy didn’t end up in your curry.” The small boy told his sister, trying to suppress his laughter.
“STUUUUUUUUUUU!” The brunette quickly rushed her brother out of the white hospital door to prevent him from talking about the bug any further. At least, that seemed to be her intentions..."Sis…” I called softly. My hands were reaching for an imaginary being. I quickly recalled them back to my side, once I realized my intentions. My eyes swiftly flickered to the thick tempered glass window on the east side of my bedroom. The sunshine was pouring out of the clear glass, it was impossible to sleep any further. I headed to the bathroom and freshened up for the day. After I was done with that, I descended down the wooden stairs to eat some breakfast. The wooden cabinet squeaked as I pulled its knobs. Inside was a single box of corn flakes. The contents did not amaze me. The house was always devoid of food ever since Grandma Ellen had passed away. Elli and the town’s only doctor married soon after. Elli always came over everyday during her breaks to provide me with meals, but after baby Madison was born, Elli barely, if ever, came over. But, everything happens for a reason. Still, though, I was eighteen now, in my heart, I longed for my sister to care for me once more. And even though it was selfish of me, I dreamed about her pretty often. A set of speedy knocks caused me to jump. I leisurely walked over to the wooden door and carefully turned the golden door knob. My mind had identified the visitor from his rude hurried knocks and frankly, I was in no hurry to answer the door. The door opened and revealed the very man I have, since not long ago, greatly been hated by. “About time you answered the door, you ungrateful little devil.” The black haired man shoved right through me. I fell backwards landing on the hard oak floor. This man was Elli’s husband, the town doctor. “Here’s some food from Elli. If it was up to me, I swear you wouldn’t get a crumb. That girl is just too caring for her own damn good.” He roughly placed the contained food on the dusty counter and stowed away, slamming the door behind him. Memories rushed through my mind as I was left sitting on that cold wooden floor... The door creaked open.
“Stu? Stu, are you home? Its me, Elli! I’m here with food! Stew your favorite, stu!” The woman pushed the door open, even more with her right foot. Her right arm was too preoccupied with a sleeping baby girl and her left arm was carrying the very stew she spoke of. “Stu?” She tried again before entering into the home, closing the door with her right foot. She placed the food unto the counter before entering further into the room, the fragile baby still asleep in her arms. “Stu--,” She began to call again, but he was standing right there in front of her. “Stu! There you are! I was calling your name for like, ever! Where were you? Well you’re here now! I made you some stew! Its on the counter.” The boy walked over to the counter. Tears were flooding his eyes. He stayed quiet, though, he knew he had to do it. It was for her own good. He wiped his tears with the back of his right hand and lifted the lid to see the stew. It smelled heavenly.
With shaking hands the boy slammed the stew unto the ground. The kitchen floor was flooded with the stew. Its smell filled the air.
The girl stared at him, appalled. She cleared her voice. “Stu… what… what is the meaning of this?”
“I… I don’t want to eat this… this crap.” He said with a shaky voice. The girl still stared at his, her eyes full of love and worry.
“Stu, sweetheart, what’s wrong? Did something happen to you? We can always talk about this.” The women still looked worried. He had to do this now. He had to, or else, the women, the women he loved so much, would get the wrong idea.
“Nothing happened! I’m just tired! Tired of you and especially tired of you treating me like a little kid! I’m seventeen! I don’t need you! I’m sick of seeing your face!” The boy was breathing deeply by now. Every mean word he had said to her was another slam to his heart.
Her eyes were filled to the brim with tears. He had to finish her now… or it would be too late… “You…,” He continued, “You and your damn child could rot in hell for all I care!” With a final word it was over. The women’s expression went blank. Her brother could see the job was done; their relationship was shattered forever… maybe now she could be happy, not carrying the burden of her brother any longer… no longer owing him nothing… maybe she could spend more time with her family.There was a good reason for the doctor’s hatred. I got up from the floor and headed upstairs to change into my favorite overalls. After that, I headed out the door to go to help May with her farm work, like I did everyday. She was the only friend I had left in town and my one true love, even if she didn't know it.
Do you like? Please Comment! Chapter 2 coming soon!
|
|
|
Post by Pickle on May 28, 2008 23:53:30 GMT -5
Wow....I was about to hate the doctor there. HATE THE DOCTOR!
But there seems to be a reason now.
Though what is up with Stu?
|
|
gofighter
Small Milk
"Oh Luigi! When cleaning the yard, let the small twigs lie!" -- Mario
Posts: 20
|
Post by gofighter on Jun 8, 2008 15:49:24 GMT -5
Sorry its late! But here's the Chapter 2! Chapter 2 "Stuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" How could I possibly miss that voice? The owner was the most spunky and flamboyant girl in all of Mineral Town. Her red hair was dancing wildly behind her. It was a wonder her thin hair band could hold the flickering flame that was her ponytail. She was running wildly toward the door. I could have spotted her a mile away. Her red hair really stood out against the winter white that colored and overlapped the town and it certainly didn’t help that her cheeks matched her hair to the brim. “Em.” My voice crackled due to the surprising winter wind that flooded my throat. I quickly cleared my throat. “What’s up?” At these word her cheeks flushed more violently, surpassing that of her flaming, scarlet hair. Her hands seemed to be shaking behind her gray and white winter coat. “HAPPY WINTER THANKSGIVING!” She seemed to be shouting. “Here!” She handed to me a box wrapped in glittering violet. The gift was topped with a matching violet bow. I graciously accepted the gift and smiled at her. “Thanks Emma!” I said. She beamed at these words as she humbly bowed. “I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything last spring!” I told her reciting the hackneyed words used by every man who received a gift that he certainly didn’t see coming, especially last spring. At this she regained her composure and her cheeks started to turn their healthy glow again. “It sure is nippy, huh?” She asked. I could tell she was relieved to have given me the present. “Mmmmmm.” I answered her back. It really was. “Are you going to May’s house?” She asked me suddenly. She turned away. I could tell she was blushing again. “Yes.” I answered her back. The shorter the answer the less likely she’d stay. “Can I come?” She seemed hopeful. “Sure, I guess. I mean you are good friends with May, right?” I answered reluctantly. There was no getting around spending time with Emma. “I suppose so….” She seemed to be pondering. We walked down the narrow path that cut through Rose Square and the Inn. The trees were clouded with snow and the flower boxes were empty. All seemed silent, peaceful, drowsy… “Are you gonna help may with the animals today, Stu?” She asked, smiling. Her blue eyes pierced me. She was the splitting image of her mother, the inn keeper, Ann. It seemed as If the only things she inherited from her father were a strong will, ambition, and her bashful nature. “Yeah. That’s the plan.” I looked away from her beautiful face. I may’ve defiantly liked Emma, if May wasn’t around. After all she was the only other girl who was always there for me. Finally, we reached the wooden house that housed those who owned the Yodel Farm. We walked past the house and went straight to the turquoise roofed barn. Emma’s graceful, slim hand slid open the barn door. The warmth and aroma of animals flooded our body with heat as we opened the big wooden door. Emma stepped in front of me and I quietly slid the door close behind us. We walked further in. The barn was big, massive. But even that wasn’t enough to hide the voices we heard within. “- and your serious?” Ahahahaha!” “Don’t laugh, Jerk!” “When something’s funny, I laugh! And that was hilarious!” Emma and I walked further in only to see the back of May’s long, flowing black hair, tied in a working ponytail standing next to my biggest rival, Naozumi, the son of the local farmer, Jack, and his pretty wife Karen. May turned around with surprise. “Oh, hey Stu! You’re here! And you brought Em! And Nao’s here, too! Its almost like a party!” She smiled the only smile that could compete with that of my darling sister. “Man, Stu. May’s right. You do come everyday. But then again your house is completely empty.” Naozumi scoffed. My heart began to hurt. Once again, Naozumi hit a weak point. He quickly turned over his shoulder and was relieved to see May with Emma, taking care of the bustling livestock. Now he could say whatever he wanted. He approached me close enough so only I could hear what he was saying_ and no one else. “Save us all and don’t come back you dirty Bastard. Your almost making May impure.” He scorned.
|
|
|
Post by Pickle on Jun 20, 2008 2:30:24 GMT -5
I'm confused, but I suppose you will reveal all later, yes?
On an unrelated not, alter and later have the same letters in them. I don't know why I feel the need to bring it up, but there it is.
|
|
gofighter
Small Milk
"Oh Luigi! When cleaning the yard, let the small twigs lie!" -- Mario
Posts: 20
|
Post by gofighter on Jun 22, 2008 22:45:55 GMT -5
Chapter 3"Is Nao in here?" We heard a high pitched female voice call. "Nao?" Just then we heard the great barn door open. In stepped in Catherine in her stylish winter ensemble. Her flowing pink pair, further added to her beautiful facial features. "Ewwww!" Catherine exclaimed as she eyed a pile of animal dung. "Who the hell would want to work in a dump like this?" With the tips of her furnished nails, Catherine pinched the ends of her perfect nose.
"You do know you live on a chicken farm." Emma pointed out, rolling her eyes. If there was one thing Em couldn't stand, it was Catherine.
"And you think I go in there? Please! Just because my damn mother loved that place doesn't mean that I'm destined to become a chicken lover myself. Thank the GODDESS I didn't turn out like that fool." Catherine nearly shouted. The rosiness in her cheeks started to darken. She was getting angry.
"You really shouldn't talk about your mother like that, Cat..." May told her. She had adored Popuri, who used to play with her when she was little.
"Well you don't even have a mom, so how should you know? She ran off with some man didn't she? Left you behind, huh? Easy to see why!" Catherine was breathing heavily now. Stands of her bubble gum pink hair was sticking to her angry face.
May went black. Her eyes once so full of life, were replaced by those lost in hazy, unwanted memories. Her usually beautiful smile was replaced by lips that were struggling to keep a straight face, but Catherine had cut her too deep. Glistening tears were falling down May's face.
"M-May..." I started to say. My hands were reaching for her, longing to comfort her, longing to see that radiant smile of hers once again. But my trembling hands were too slow. He had got to her first.
"May! May are you okay?" Naozumi wrapped his strong arms around her shaking body and held her close. May rested her head against Naozumi's firm shoulder and started to sob quietly. Naozumi's eyes darted to Catherine. His look of worry quickly turned into a look of hostility. "What the hell is wrong with you? You should be grateful your mother gave birth to you! That she acknowledges you! Loves you! My Goddess I can't stand superficial brats like you!" Naozumi was angry. He was giving Catherine the same look he had been giving me since we had known each other.
"I-I-I didn't mean to....." Catherine's anger turned to regret. Her big brown eyes were welling with tears. "I'm sorry May..." She ran out the barn and shut the door behind her. But even with the door closed, we could hear her furrowed sobs.
"Naozumi!" Emma exclaimed. "Why were you so harsh? Sure what she said to May was out of the line, but what you said to her was sure no better!"
"Oh just shut up!" Naozumi grunted. "Just mind your own damn business. That brat deserved every word that came out of my mouth. I will not stand for May to be hurt like that! Not now, not EVER! Man, your almost as bad as her!" Emma flushed violently, A look of sheer resentment covered her pale face.
"Are you alright now, May?" Naozumi asked gently as she lifted her head up from his broad shoulders. She nodded. Her eyes were still empty. I walked over to her position on the ground and knelt down so I was right beside her. My right hand was reaching for her angelic face.
"May...." I was almost whispering. Naozumi quickly slapped my hand with the back of his own.
"Don't you have some where to be?" He asked me scornfully. I took a quick glance at his face. It was even more threatening now then it was when he was scolding Catherine. I got up and brushed some hay from my overalls.
"Come on Em." I whispered to her. She followed me out of the barn and into the cold winter air. Out of the barn and still we could hear the voice of Naozumi comforting May.
Out of the barn and I could still feel the love that Naozumi had for May...
Plese comment!
|
|
|
Post by Pickle on Jun 27, 2008 16:45:54 GMT -5
There is my comment.
No, here it is.
You are improving since your last chapter. Though spelling mistakes still about. Then again, I do it, too. All the freakin' time. Though I'm curious about Naozumi's age. Because when the Farmer gets to the farm, May is at least six years old then (as far as I can tell), meaning the kid has to be at least thirteen if May and Stu are 18.
Just my pointing thing. Think about the ages, maybe.
|
|
gofighter
Small Milk
"Oh Luigi! When cleaning the yard, let the small twigs lie!" -- Mario
Posts: 20
|
Post by gofighter on Jun 29, 2008 22:29:17 GMT -5
Yeah I guess that doesn't make much sense... but neither does the fact that your son is the same age as Lumina, Hugh, and Kate by the time he is about 18 in AWL because they should be way older... just for the sake of the story I put them as the same age. Sorry if that bothers you!
|
|
gofighter
Small Milk
"Oh Luigi! When cleaning the yard, let the small twigs lie!" -- Mario
Posts: 20
|
Post by gofighter on Jun 29, 2008 22:31:25 GMT -5
Sorry for the double post but here's chapter 4!
Chapter 4
The chilled air seemed to match my heart perfectly_ cold and hollow.
"Stu?" Emma asked. "Are you okay?" Her beautiful blue eyes were staring at me, full of worry.
"Y-Yeah." I lied. "Just peachy."
"Do you wanna come into the inn today?" She questioned, hopeful.
"No thanks." I smiled. "I've gotta meet Peter today, anyway. Maybe next time."
"Okay. See ya then." She smiled. I could tell she was relieved that I was at least smiling again.
"Thanks, Em. For coming with me. See ya." I waved my final good-bye to her. I was honestly relieved that Emma was there. I could've dealt with what happened in the barn if I was alone.
"N-n-no problem!" She was blushing as she waved good-bye. Soon her feminine frame disappeared behind the big wooden inn door.
The walk to the library wasn't a long one. I decided to take the main path that ran past the Aja Winery. The cool winter air started to blow even more ferociously then before. Finally, I made it to the library door. I reached for the door knob and started to turn. The door swiftly opened without any difficulties. It was a Monday. I had expected the library to be closed, only using it as an excuse to escape Emma. Suddenly I heard voices.
"- and you're sure about that?" The familiar low voice asked.
"Of course. That child is nothing but a brat. Look what he did to his sister." Another familiar low voice said with animosity.
"He's just a kid." The first voice told the second.
"Kid? Bahh! He's a devil. Did you know that his sister took care of him so much that she barely had time for her own daughter? And that's how he thanks her!" The second voice argued. Was it him? It couldn't be. My heart was racing. No it had to be. I pushed the door slightly so that there was a crack big enough I could peek through.
It was the Doctor talking to Peter's father, Gray. Of course it was him. The Doctor wasn't afraid to share his views to anyone, especially his views of me.
"There may have been a reason, Doc." Gray told him.
"No reason could compensate, no reason in this world would be good enough to suffice for the hell that brat has put Elli through! And I'm telling you........" The voices started to fade, my thoughts started to wander into my suppressed memories....
It was Spring the fourteenth and a teenage black haired boy had a tray of beautiful heart shaped cookies he had made for his darling sister. He started to turn the door knob, but opened it ever so slightly to make sure she wasn't busy.
"Elli. I was wondering if you'd be home tonight so you'd be able to spend the Thanks Giving Festival with me and Maddie." The tall doctor figure asked a fair brunette,
"Oh? Tonight? Sorry, but I'm going to spend it with Stu." The brunette looked apologetic. The doctor figure sighed as he picked up a jar of medicine from a near by table.
"Sweetheart, you always spend all your time with Stu, can't you let one night go?" The doctor seemed to almost be begging. The brunette shook her head firmly.
"The poor dear is alone. I've got to!" She seemed to have made up her mind.
"He's grown now Elli! I bet he has some girl to he'd love to give cookies to. Perhaps little Emma or Catherine! He'll probably spend the day with her! That boy is always taking you away from me! And worse, the boy is taking you away from your own child, Madison! She barely recognizes your face! Do you realize that?" The doctor seemed to be fuming with anger.
"I know..." The brunette seemed guilty. "But what else can I do about Stu? He..." The black haired boy inconspicuously shut the clinic door. He couldn't hear any more of their conversation. His heart sank. His worse fears were coming true. His sister had to move on for the sake of her family. He, himself, was in the way of her happiness. And he, himself, could give her happiness, but only by taking himself away from her life, for good... It was done, many years ago. I had saved Elli from sadness and hurt. I had sacrificed myself for her as she had done for me... for all my life.
I shut the door of the library and went left to Peter's house. My heart felt more empty then ever. I had to see a friend.
|
|
|
Post by oopsi8everest on Jun 30, 2008 22:13:54 GMT -5
Ah, that explains it. Self sacrifice. Can't wait for the next chapter!
|
|
gofighter
Small Milk
"Oh Luigi! When cleaning the yard, let the small twigs lie!" -- Mario
Posts: 20
|
Post by gofighter on Jul 1, 2008 0:35:05 GMT -5
Chapter 5
I tightened my right hand into a fist and started to lightly knock on the house door. It didn't take long for the grand wooden door to open. It was Mary, Peter's mother, who had answered.
"Hello, Mrs. Mary. Is Peter home?" I asked politely. Her lips turned into an honest grin. She was obviously happy to remember that her anti-social son had a friend.
"Of course, Stu!" She answered back, almost too radiantly. "He's in his room doing some studying, but I'm sure he'd be delighted to see you! Come in." Her pale hand beckoned for me to come in her fancy house. The moment I set foot in the home, my body was greeted by an aroma about as warm as the one in May's barn.
I had started to climb the carpeted staircase when Mary asked me, "Would you like to stay for dinner, Stu?" She looked hopeful.
I thought about it. Tonight's dinner would surely be awkward, with what happened between Gray and the Doctor, but Gray would most likely not talk about it anyway, as quiet as he was. So what did I have to lose? Mary was a great chef after all.
"Of course." I gave a smile that was barely convincing, but Mary didn't seem to notice. She gave a smile back to me.
"Peter, as well as Gray will be delighted. I'll get started right away!" Mary disappeared behind the kitchen door.
I continued to climb the carpeted staircase, until I finally reached the top. I turned left and walked up to Peter's bedroom door. Once again I knocked gently on the painted wood. I heard a series of small noises and then a furrowed, "One minute please!" Suddenly the golden knob started to move.
Peter appeared at the door. He was a thin, pale boy with red, brown hair, a mix of his mother and father. He had big brown eyes and was pretty muscular from days of helping his father with his job as a blacksmith.
"Stu, welcome." He said almost whispering. He opened the door widely to let me in. I went inside the slightly cluttered room. There were books in nearly every open space. I sat down on his small bed and watched him rapidly at work.
"What's up Stu?" He asked causally.
"Nothing much." I replied. "Same old, same old." He looked at me for a bit, seeing my lies, but decided not to push on.
"How about you? How's it going with Catherine?" I asked a bit harshly, immediately regretting my question. Peter was blushing slightly.
"Its okay. She does come over to the library a lot, checking out quite a few books. I always do help her." He didn't seem to notice the jab in my question. I sighed secretly in relief. The less rude I was to Pete the better. He certainly didn't deserve my troubles.
"Do you know what happened to Catherine, today? I went to the store to get some groceries for my mother and I spotted her there crying her eyes out." He seemed to be deeply worried. I decided to tell him the truth.
"Well today when I was at the barn, Naozumi chewed her out for being mean to May. It was kinda harsh." I told him truthfully. Peter sighed.
"Man that Naozumi. He's a jerk. Someone needs to tell him." Pete sighed. I chuckled lightly.
"That's what Emma told him before he chewed her out, too." I started to laugh again. Peter's puzzled look turned into a smile as well.
"So what exactly happened at the barn." He asked causally, still smiling. He handed me a drink from his room's mini refrigerator.
I decided to tell him without skipping any single detail.
"Wow." He said after the story was over. "I'm glad I didn't go. I was going to, but then I remembered I had to do some chores." He told me, trying to shake off the tension of the story. He looked at me again, but more deeply this time. "Don't worry, Stu. Naozumi's a jerk and I'll bet May knows that as well." I nodded for Peter's sake.
But I wasn't so sure. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- please comment~
|
|
|
Post by sweetheart on Jul 1, 2008 15:17:29 GMT -5
All in all I love the story and I can't wait for more.
|
|
gofighter
Small Milk
"Oh Luigi! When cleaning the yard, let the small twigs lie!" -- Mario
Posts: 20
|
Post by gofighter on Jul 2, 2008 22:10:50 GMT -5
Chapter 6
"Ahh... I should go now." I stared at Peter's fancy digital clock. The bright red numbers read, '5:26'. I had been there for over an hour. "Its getting late." I commented.
Peter looked confused. "I thought you were staying for dinner? I heard my mother ask you when you came in today."
"I was, but..." I drifted into my own thoughts. I had to see if May was okay.
"But...?" Peter raised an eyebrow.
"I remembered some things that I have to do. Sorry, Pete. Maybe next time." I got up from his cozy bed and started to go out the door.
"Like what Stu?" I heard him whisper to himself. I pretended not to hear him. I was already on the bottom stair when Mary came out of the kitchen. She was holding a ladle with a green stripe design.
"Stu? Where are you going? I thought you were going to stay for dinner." She looked puzzled, almost hurt.
"I'm sorry. I have a few things to take care off." I avoided her eyes.
"That's fine. Please come back if you change your mind." She seemed to be hiding the hurt.
"Of course." I answered politely.
The wooden door swung open revealing a gust of the winter wind. I put my icy hands in my overall pockets and continued to walk up the cold road. I decided to take the path that cut Rose Square.
Life often changed in this town, but the Square never did. There were still the same brides gossiping and the the same events plastered up on the crowded Rose Square bulletin wall.
I passed through the Rose Square thinking of all the times I used to play with May there.
'Stu! You idiot! Your not really supposed to eat the mud pies! They're not real!' She'd always tell me the same thing.
'Maay! But I'm hungry.' I'd always stupidly answer. I chuckled at this fond memory. It seemed almost like a dream. A dream that was pleasant, but a dream, and dreams were never real.
I finally reached the Yodel Farm. I knocked the door loudly. Barley was pretty deaf.
"Whats that racket? Its past closing hours! Who in the heck is it?" The voice belonged to Barley. The door knob started to shuffle. Barely answered the door. His grimace of displeasure turned into a smile. "Oh! Stu! Welcome! May's upstairs! Go, go!" The kindness seemed almost fake.
Barley had been in a rush to get May married ever since she had turned sixteen. He wanted to make sure that May was well off before he passed away. That was his one wish. I climbed the wooden staircase (much to Barley's pleasure) and walked up to May's pink door. I knocked slowly, unsure what to expect.
May answered the door. Her face was much more lively then this morning. What had Naozumi said to her? She held the door open and signaled me to come in. I stepped into her room and she swiftly slammed the door behind me.
"Sup, Stu?" She asked nicely. Her black hair was tied into two thick braids, just like when we were kids. She was wearing a simple orange shirt and a pair of jeans.
"I wanted to see if you were.. okay." I answered, hesitating.
"I'm as cool as a cucumber." She said happily. "I'm not weak Stu, don't worry!" She pointed to her muscles with her index finger. "See? Still got it!" She started to chuckle. I joined her. She was still the same old May. At least somethings never change.
"What did Naozumi say to you?" I asked casually, trying to hide the sincere interest I had.
She smiled as if remembering something pleasant. "Nothing much." She said, still dazed. "He just got me back to my senses. I mean after all, If my mother hadn't dumped me in this place, I wouldn't have met you, kid." She smiled playfully. May was still as spunky as ever. "You know Naozumi's a good guy, Stu. You should really give him a chance." She was still smiling.
Her words cut me. Naozumi was only good to the people he loved. He really didn't seem to need any more then that, anyway. He never made friends, only enemies, when trying to reach his goals. And right now, his goal was most definitely May and he just may have a chance of winning her.
Please comment! BTW; I really like how this chapter turned out. It was good to write about May and her personality! ^^
|
|
|
Post by Pickle on Jul 10, 2008 17:50:38 GMT -5
It's fun and getting much better.
And now everything is clarified, including age, I don't have to scold you for pediophilla.
|
|
gofighter
Small Milk
"Oh Luigi! When cleaning the yard, let the small twigs lie!" -- Mario
Posts: 20
|
Post by gofighter on Jul 10, 2008 19:53:56 GMT -5
lol, thanks, i think XD
|
|
|
Post by Pickle on Jul 12, 2008 16:56:05 GMT -5
lol, hey, it's an fanfiction. You can alter a few details here and there.
|
|