Kingdom of Loathing

[jdlloyd]

Anyone play this game? I found out about it over a year ago, but it was only maybe a month or so ago that I actually signed up for it. It's really one of the most original (and fun!) games I've played in a while. It's an online MMORPG that is for those that like RPGs/MMORPGs and those who don't. The game's battle system is extremely simple so those of you that like long drawn-out battles that take strategy and such to defeat? You'd probably be disappointed. KoL isn't about strategy (although there are several puzzles throughout the game that'll require some thinking). The humor in the game is one of the most interesting things about this game - everything in it is a joke. No, I don't mean it's bad.....everything in it really is a joke, a part of a joke, a bad pun, or something. I have actually seen a few things that don't appear to be a part of any joke, but those are rare (and they may be jokes that I'm just not getting).

Kingdom of Loathing is entirely online, 100% free, 99% ad-free (they have links to their store and donation pages on the main log-in page as well as a text link to the donation page in the fast-link bar in the game), and if you do choose to pay money, you get a really nice in-game item (which could also be obtained if you find someone who will sell it to you in-game. They usually go for between 7 and 8 million though). The game runs entirely on donations and from its online store. I've even thought about making a donation myself. I already have a ton of meat (yes, the currency of KoL is slabs of meat , but getting another "Mr. Accessory" would be nice. A Mr. Accessory is what you get for every $10 you donate to the game makers. In addition to being the second-best stat-increasing item in the game (first 1st being an ultra-rare that very few even get to see), you can trade it in at the Mr. Store for other great and rare items.

Another thing I like about Kingdom of Loathing is that it's constantly being updated. You never know when a new area will pop up, a few new items will be added (and whether anyone will even know if new items are added), or maybe an entirely new game feature. Then there are the holidays. Today was a false alarm on the Oyster Egg Hunt, but there are several holidays and special events that happen in the game from time to time (and who knows when one will happen?). So far I've seen oyster egg hunting on Easter, trick-or-treating in June, an appearance of the Spectral Pickle Factory, St. Sneaky Pete's Day (St. Patrick's Day), Feast Day (Thanksgiving).....and I think that's it..... I haven't been around for Crimbo (Christmas) or any of the other stuff yet though. =/

The game is very interesting, even the art style of the game is making fun of all these games that go on how great they look. Kingdom of Loathing uses hand-drawn images and stick figures. (and no, that's not a bad thing! It might surprise you at first, but it does work well and really, I've grown to like its art style!)

For me, a lot of the fun started when I reached level 5 and finally had access to the mall! It was fun browsing all the player-created stores and looking for great deals on stuff I'd never seen before. Then at level 9, you can buy your own mall store for 50,000 meat! Once you have your own mall store, you can sell all these items you've found and make meat (remember, meat = money) from it. Eventually, once you have enough meat and experience, you can play the market, buying low-priced items and selling them for a profit if/when the market for that item rises.

Let's see, what haven't I mentioned yet? There's a ton of collecting to do in the game. There can be as much or little player interaction as you want. You can do the market, you can chat in one of the several busy chat rooms (or the more private clan chat room), you can join a clan if you feel like it (definitely recommended - they can do nothing but help you....unless they're demanding stuff from you....in which case you should find a different clan. =P ), attack or get attacked by another player (PvP stuff only happens if you break your Mystical Hippie Stone though - you're safe unless you break it. If you do break it, you can glue it back together after 2 weeks of not attacking someone), or just chat in the message board on there (although I've never done much of that, there are lots of people that like to).

Ah! One last thing I forgot about was the recently-implemented ascension. If you "beat" the game (the final battle), you have the choice of starting over. All your items are put in storage to be accessed later, you lose all your stats, you get to pick one skill to keep, you keep all your familiars you've collected (I'm not even going to try explaining all that right now), but all but one has its level reset to 1 (the one you have with you gets to keep its level). Then you lose all quest items and all campground stuff (except for trophies, familiars, and your certificate) too. Basically, you're starting over. This time you can choose to be a different class though. You can also put dietary or hardcore restrictions on yourself though. Playing through the game again will have many new things added that weren't there before. You even get a whole new area in the game - one of three (depending on which sign you picked when ascending). If you put restrictions on yourself, you'll get bonus stuff too! Stuff that you couldn't get otherwise.... With ascension, this game has nearly endless replay value!

There's only one thing I'd have to warn you about in this game. In KoL, you're sure to run across the occasional bad language. It's unavoidable, but the occurrences aren't too frequent. It may not be there often, but it's definitely there. If you can use a filter to block out the occasional bad stuff, it's a very fun game and I'd highly recommend it.

If anyone here plays or joins, my main account is jackofallgames (although I also have a "jdlloyd810" account). Feel free to message me. ...or just talk about the game here. =)

[jdlloyd]

I suppose I'll also describe the classes to anyone that wants to know what they can do.

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Seal Clubber

Seal Clubbers hail from the frigid Northlands, because one character class always hails from the frigid Northlands. They rely on their Muscle to survive.

Seal Clubbers can smith items that no other class can. There aren't many of these items though and these items are fairly cheap in the mall. Seal Clubbers also rely on their strength. This class is good for easily knocking out enemies with standard attacks.

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Turtle Tamer

The Turtle Tamer's mystical connection with his terrapin brethren imbues him with great power. He excels at moving very slowly and winning footraces with smug satisfaction. His Muscle is the key to his success, and to his long lifespan.

Turtle Tamers can also smith certain items that no other class can. These items can also be found at fairly cheap prices in the mall though. Turtle Tamers can also learn the coveted Empathy ability (along with a few other "buff" skills). Empathy buffs can by cast on yourself or other players. Many people will pay to be buffed. The Turtle Tamer class relies on Muscle just like the Seal Clubber class.

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Pastamancer

With his mastery of the arcane secrets of Noodlecraft, the Pastamancer is a force to be reckoned with. He relies on his Mysticality to get ahead in the world.

Pastamancers can create some of the best food items in the game - chow mein. The Pastamancer can also create the second half of h. ramen - another very nice food item. These and other noodle dishes can only be made by Pastamancers. You can also create 3 bunches of dry noodles per day (10MP per bunch). Dry Noodles are required for noodle dishes but can be found elsewhere in the game. Even if you're not going to use the noodles for yourself, they can be sold for a decent amount in the mall or used to create a noodle dish that can be sold for even more.

Aside from the cooking, Pastamancers use their Mysticality stat as their main stat and wield both offense and limited defensive magical skills.

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Sauceror

Long engaged in an uneasy truce with the Pastamancers, the guild of Saucerors protects the secrets of the Ancient Brotherhood of Gravymakers. Their Mysticality is their most important attribute.

Saucerors can cook special sauce dishes that no other class can. Saucerors can make h. broth (first half of h. ramen) and many different potions that only they can make. Saucerors can made up to 3 scrumptious regents per day (used for making sauces). These items can not only be used for cooking, but can be sold in the mall as they are or used to make something more valuable to sell.

Saucerors also learn a few buffing skills. These skills can be used on yourself or others. They can be sold to other players as a source of income too. These skills are primarily defensive in nature and are especially useful early in the game.

Saucerors mainly rely on their Mysticality stat. Saucerors learn both useful offensive and defensive magic skills.

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Disco Bandit

The Disco Bandit boogies to and fro, hither and yon. Whence comes he? No man knows. Whither strikes he next? All men live in fear of him and his Moxie.

Disco Bandits learn many useful passive skills that don't have to be activated and don't cost MP. These skills do things like increase meat and items that monsters drop.

Disco Bandits can also make drinks that no other class can. There are better drinks that can be made, but those drinks require a rare (discontinued) item that may or may not become available in the future. Unless you have millions of meat to spend on the Tiny Plastic Sword (also known as the TPS), Disco Bandit drinks are the best. Disco Bandits can also scrounge up 3 cocktail ingrediants per day (which can be sold or used for the DB-only drinks).

Disco Bandits use the Moxie stat as their main stat and are especially good at dodging attacks.

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Accordion Thief

The scourge of mariachis and polka bands, the Accordion Thieves have plied their malign craft since time out of mind. Their Moxie serves them well in both their adventures and their interactions with "the ladies."

Accordian Theives are an interesting bunch. This class is the king of the buffers. Accordian theives learn a dozen different buffing abilities, but only 3 can be in effect on a player at a time. This class can also upgrade how many adventures each buff is worth. If you know how, you can get up to 15 adventures per buff instead of the starting 5. The skills this class can use range from stat-boosting to defensive to increasing items/meat/stats gained from battle. Accordian Theif buffs are highly sought after. Accordian Theives even have a skill that increases adventures gained from drinks.

Like Disco Bandits, this class uses the Moxie stat as their main stat and is especially good at dodging attacks.

[jdlloyd]

Well, if anyone does join and post a username, you can expect some free stuff coming your way. =) Not a whole lot, but some stuff to help you out when just starting.

(the usual stuff, probably a cocktailcrafting kit, E-Z Cook Oven, Tenderizing Hammer, Familiar-Gro Terrarium, Volleyball, etc.)

[Butterscotch]

I read your thread on Ninetendo Madness. It sounds kinda fun. Do you have a link for us?

[jdlloyd]

@_@ I forgot the link! XP

Sorry about that. -_-; It's www.kingdomofloathing.com

[jdlloyd]

Sorry, but the system is down for its nightly maintenance right now. It'll be back up in about 40 minutes at the latest (15 minutes at the soonest). It's usually 25-30 minutes though.

Sorry that I'm a late seeing your post. =/

Also, a bit of advice to anyone playing the game - don't use the goofballs. Trust me, you'll be wishing you didn't. They give a small and temporary stat increase (and it doesn't even last long) and then it leaves you with a "withdrawl" status. While you're in withdrawl, all your stats are cut in half. Then to get rid of the withdrawl, you have to wait for a long time for it to wear off (I think it was about 100 turns. You get about 40-50 turns to use per day w/o food and drinks) or you need to buy more goofballs (at 1000 meat per bottle) to get another temporary boost and then the withdraw length stacks on top of the last bottle you had. Then you'd start getting permenant stat drops about every 4 bottles you have. =(

It's just best not to trust the shady-looking guy and his samples..... There's almost a lesson in that....

Aside from that, I recommend the volleyball familiar when starting off. The volleyball will increase stats gained from battle.

ALSO! If you collect Bar Skin and Wood Stakes, you can combine them with meat paste to make a useful item.

[Butterscotch]

I think I'll check this out later. ^^

[jdlloyd]

Okay, well if you feel like posting your username, I'd be glad to send some stuff your way to help out when you're just starting the game (or if you'd rather not get the free items and go it solo, I understand wanting to play that way too ).

You're also welcome to join the "All your meat are belong to us" clan if you want. I started the clan with some guys from another forum (well, you'd know Wood Mega on there =) ). We don't really do much though. You get free meat and 3 extra adventures per day if you join a clan. We don't really do clan warfare though and our clan message board is pretty much dead (we use various proboards for chatting about KoL). You're welcome to join if you want, but you may likely want a more....active clan.

Well, KoL is back online now so anyone that wants to register, can.

[Butterscotch]

I joined as.....Butterscotch! ^-^;

[Butterscotch]

jdlloyd, I posted in your KoL thread at NM. ^-^

[jdlloyd]

Okay. I just saw it. =) I think Mt. Noob in the Big Mountains is the first stop in the game (if you haven't done that stuff yet).

[jdlloyd]

Oh! One more thing I forgot! When using drinks, be careful not to pass 15! Your adventures are useless if you reach or pass 15 - you'll get nothing but the same few bad adventures wherever you go. =(

Eating 'til your full has no bad effects though. =)

[jdlloyd]

Okay, I think I've sent about everything. =)

If you have any questions or need help, don't be afraid to ask.

EDIT: Ugh, sorry for the triple-post. I didn't realize that was a triple post 'til after I clicked to post the message. =/

ANOTHER EDIT: AH! I just now realized that I did it twice in this topic! >_< Sorry, I'm not doing it on purpose.

[Butterscotch]

EDIT: Ugh, sorry for the triple-post. I didn't realize that was a triple post 'til after I clicked to post the message. =/

Its okay, you silly head.

[jdlloyd]

Something else came to mind. Once you have access to the Kingdom of Loathing chat, the trade channel (type "/c trade" to go there) is very nice for finding buffs, items, and places to sell your stuff.

If you get chef hats in the Outskirts of Cobb's Knob, (although it may just display as "Cobb's Knob" at first) those should sell for a minimum of 5,000 meat each (there are times when 10,000 is a decent price to sell them at). ....After checking, right now isn't the best time though. Right now the prices are around 3,300 meat - the lowest I've seen them since.....ever. Anyway, those hats have a very useful purpose but if you're needing money, that's a way to make some.

One last thing! ALWAYS use the trade feature in the game if buying/selling/trading with another user! Do NOT send the stuff directly to them. People that don't want to use it the trade feature (or claim it doesn't work for them) are scammers 99% of the time - they'll just take your stuff and go. The trade channel has many scammers. Just deal through the trade feature and you'll be fine. =)

EDIT: I wonder if KoL will have something special for the 4th? That would be kinda cool (although I doubt they would, it's always a possibility). =)