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Post by Entegy on Nov 28, 2004 13:32:58 GMT -5
Well, I posted two chapters at Soldier, I might as well post them here too. Tell me what you think, as the Fanfic topic at Soldier seems to have died.
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Now, if can just find the damn file <.< >.>
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Post by Entegy on Nov 28, 2004 13:36:19 GMT -5
Ah, here we go.
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Save The Farm!
Chapter 1: An uneventful day?
Jack woke up at 5:30 in the morning and looked outside. The rain that had lasted two days had finally let up and the sun was drying out the wet ground. He had a quick breakfast, grabbed a jacket and went outside. The cool Spring air felt good on his face as he went over to the barn. He milked his cows, brushed his sheep then opened the gate to his pasture and led them outside.
He brought his horse, Pons, out of the shed and galloped over the chicken coop and brought them outside. Then, he watered his Cabbages.
He saw his wife, Ann, leaving the house to go help her dad at the Inn. He waved at her goodye. She waved back. He then reached into his Rucksack for his Teleport Stone and foraged around the town. In other words, it was a pretty uneventful and normal day.
At noon, he went to the Inn for some lunch.
"Hey, Doug." he said.
"Hey, Jack. How are ya?"
"Not bad. Where's Ann?"
"Upstairs. Want something to eat?"
"Sure, a box lunch please."
Doug served him the lunch and as Jack ate, Harris came into the Inn.
"Ah, Jack." Harris said. "Just the person I wanted to see."
"What did I do?" Jack joked. Harris laughed. Then, his voice turned serious.
"Nothing, I just need to talk to you."
"What's up?"
"Some men came 'round my house this morning. Asked where the farm was. Thomas told them. I didn't like the looks of them. I heard them say that they had a "deal" for you."
Jack frowned. Deal? Did these men want his farm? He asked Harris to describe the men. There were four: A short fat man, a tall man with long hair, a middle-aged man that looked like a body-builder and a bald man. Jack thanked Harris for the info and teleported back to his farm.
When Jack got back, he scouted out Pons and began doing laps around the farm. He finished next to the Chicken Coop. He checked his watch. It was almost 3:30. He dismounted Pons and began brushing him.
"Good boy Pons, we're sure to win the races in a few days."
Jack led Pons to the watering hole for a drink. As Pons drank, he noticed four men standing at the pasture gate. He mounted Pons and moved towards him.
Now I just gotta find the second chapter
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Post by Entegy on Nov 29, 2004 16:44:13 GMT -5
10 views and no posts.  |
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Post by harvestmoongirl on Nov 30, 2004 0:04:58 GMT -5
Is this your first fanfiction? Its pretty good, but I saw a spelling error at "He waved her goodye" I know that everyone knows that but its meant to be goodbye for those who didn't.
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Post by Entegy on Dec 1, 2004 13:02:18 GMT -5
Well, that's what you get for typing in Notepad. Word isn't working on my computer right now.
ANd I still can't find Chapter 2.
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Post by Kayla on Dec 1, 2004 16:13:23 GMT -5
over <to> the chicken coop
Then, he watered his <c>abbages.
It's pretty good... |
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Post by harvestmoongirl on Dec 2, 2004 3:35:19 GMT -5
What are you trying to say Kayla?
Anyway, yeah word is much better than wordpad and I hope you find the second chapter- I'm dying to know!
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Post by Entegy on Dec 2, 2004 10:16:39 GMT -5
What are you trying to say Kayla? Anyway, yeah word is much better than wordpad and I hope you find the second chapter- I'm dying to know! Yes, but word has more bugs. Look at mine for example. |
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Post by Entegy on Dec 2, 2004 10:20:32 GMT -5
Save The Farm!
Chapter 2: The first strike
Jack rode towards the men. As he approched, he saw that they were the men Harris had described. He rode up behind them.
"Can I help you?" Jack said.
"Yes," said the short, fat man. "We'd like to speak to the owner of this land. Where is he?"
"You're looking at him, sir." Jack said, trying to be civil. The fatty was talking as if he owned the farm.
"You!?" It was the tall, long-haired man. "Nick here is more capable of running a farm than you are." he continued, pointing to the fat man.
"Anyway, since you're here, we have a deal for you." Nick pulled a paper out of his pocket and handed to Jack. Jack read it. It was proposal to sell his farmland! They were offering 100,000,000G for the deed to his land.
Jack thought about this quickly. A sum of money that large was hard to turn down. On the other hand, he had made a promise to the old man that he would take over his farm and make him proud. He thought about his own money. Over eight years, he had made around 8,000,000G. But with the money these men were offering, he could buy a cottage in town and still have enough to live off for a while. But, he could alomst see the old man looking down at him.
"No deal." Jack said, handing the paper back to Nick.
"What!?"
"I said no deal."
"You don't understand. We need this place for our amusement park." said the body-builder.
Apperently, he had spoken out of turn, because Nick took his pudgy hand and slapped him with the back of his hand. "You fool, Pete!" Nick hissed.
Jack frowned. An amusment park? That means hundreds of people would come to Mineral Town. It would be over-populated and it would become like every other city.
Nick was smiling. "So?"
"No deal." Jack said. "And now, I ask you to leave my property."
"What!?"
"Leave!" Jack said, getting annoyed. He pulled out his Mythic Sickle to show he meant business.
The men obeyed, but as they left, Nick yelled back "We GET what we want!"
Jack reported this to Harris right away. Harris said he couldn't arrest them until he had more proof.
***
An hour later, Jack was pacing around the house when Ann came home.
"Jack, come here. I've got something urgent to tell you." she said.
"What is it?"
"Harris told me about those men." she started. "Just as I was leaving, four men came into the Inn and requested a room. Well, Dad was next to me when Harris told me about them, so he knew about them and refused them service. They began yelling and Dad matched them word for word. Finally, they left, muttering something about a beach."
"They're probably gonna stay at the beach." Jack replied after a moment. Well, let's sleep on this and I'll think of something about this in the morning."
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Jack woke up in the middle of the night to a strange noise outside. It sounded like someone was trying to move around silently, but was failing at doing so. Jack turned to Ann.
"Did you hear that?"
"Mmmmmm.... ZZZZZ..."
Jack got up and put and quickly dressed and grabbed his Rucksack. He took out his Sickle and his Axe. He went outside.
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Post by Kayla on Dec 2, 2004 19:46:28 GMT -5
I was making spelling and capitalization corrections in my last post... and it's good, N2G... |
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Post by Butterscotch on Dec 11, 2004 11:57:21 GMT -5
So far, so good. ^_^
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Post by Entegy on Dec 11, 2004 21:24:39 GMT -5
Save the Homeland ? :?:
No thank you.
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Post by Entegy on Dec 12, 2004 9:28:20 GMT -5
Yes, I know what STH is about. Horrible.
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Post by Entegy on Dec 28, 2004 14:29:55 GMT -5
Save The Farm!
Chapter 3: Nighttime Battle
Jack wasn't in the mood for intruders after the day he'd had. The lighting his farm got was from the buildings and apperently, the intruders were staying away from that. Suddenly, he heard a yelp and a scream. The yelp sounded like Kirby. Jack decided that that the intruder had stepped on Kirby and Kirby bit him.
Jack ran towards the noise. He could see the outline of two men. One was in a panic with something clapmed to his leg, the other was trying frantically to catch the thing on his companion's leg, but was failling to do so. Finally, the man kicked off the thing on his leg. Kirby flew to the ground whimpering.
That got Jack really pissed. "HEY!" Jack shouted. "Don't you DARE kick my dog!"
The men were surprised, but quickly recovered and ran towards Jack. He threw his Axe at them, but he missed. As they came towards him, he swung his Sickle at them to keep them at bay, but it didn't work. Jack had to leap and roll to the side to prevent from getting hurt. He leaped to retrieve his Axe. As he picked it up, one of the men grabbed him from behind. As he struggled, he could tell this was the body-builder, Pete from the afternoon. The other man, he didn't know, but he didn't have time to think as he was punched in the stomach.
"Crap. This hurts." Jack thought, wincing with each blow.
After six punches, the man yelled. Kirby had bitten him now. Pete, as dumb as he was strong, got confused at what was happening. This gave Jack the time to escape his grasp and whack him over the head with the blunt end of his Axe. When Kirby lost all his energy, the other man kicked him aside.
"Quick, let's go!" the man said. Pete and the guy ran off towards the northern exit. Enraged that his dog had yet again been kicked, he threw his Axe and his Sickle at the fleeing pair. The Sickle grazed Pete's ankle, but they kept running. Jack picked up his tools, put them in his Rucksack, then picked up Kirby and went inside.
Ann had woken up during the commotion and was sitting at the table.
"Oh my god!" she said. "What happened to Kirby!?"
"He was kicked twice by the intruders." Jack replied. He gently put Kirby down in front of the TV. Tomorrow he would bring Kirby to Doc.
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Jack clumsily did his farming his he waited for 9AM to come so he could take Kirby to the Clinic. He had broken two eggs and accidently pulled his cows udders a little too hard. Finally, 9 came and he picked up Kirby and teleported to the Clinic.
Elli was just getting ready for the day when Jack walked in.
"Hello Jack!" she said cheerfully. But her expression fell when she saw the limp dog in Jack's arms. "What happened?"
"Intruders kicked him twice last night." Jack replied gloomily. "Could you get Doc?"
Elli nodded and went upstairs to get Doc. Doc and Elli came back down. Doc took Kirby from Jack's hands.
"I'm no vet." Doc said. "But I'll do what I can."
Half an hour later, Doc came back with Kirby.
"He'll be fine. Just needs rest. Who did this to him?"
"Intruders last night." Jack replied.
"Were they the people who tried to buy your farm?" Elli asked.
"One of them was."
"Well, good luck beating them. I wish I could do more." Doc said.
Jack said his thank yous and went back to the farm.
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Post by Entegy on Dec 28, 2004 17:55:19 GMT -5
Hello?
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