Lost Soul

[pendulous threads]

Author's Note: Yes, another one of my fanfictions. In this story it's about a girl whose life went down the drain, and she is lost with her life. She doesn't know what to do. Also, her and Rick are going to be FRIENDS. Nothing more. If she chose anyone to like, you know who it would be. ^_^ But she isn't chosing someone to like...yet. You'll know why. The first chapter is sad, and it's kind of like an introduction. It's just basically a VERY long summary of her life so far.

Chapter One: Ashley

I am Ashley Mizuki Kartine. Although I’ve been through some pretty rough times, I’m still making the best of my life. It’s not easy, but I manage. With my brother Tim and loving friends, I will make it through.

My brother, with his black hair and gray eyes has always been more of a father to me than a brother. Sometimes I just wanted someone to hang out with, or someone to stand up for me when I was being teased at school. But, Tim just wasn’t like that. He was always busy, bustling around doing something or just trying to look like he was busy. He got the smarts, and I got the looks. He was always jealous of my brown/red hair and radiant green eyes, like I was of his grades. He was always my role model, and always will be. But, I don’t like to tell people that.

My life slowly started falling to pieces on a cold winter day at the hospital when I was 12 years old. I was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors said they could remove the cancer by doing surgery, but I had a 50% change of living. My mother wept, for the next couple of weeks. My hair started to fall out and I became weak. She and my father finally decided to have them do the surgery.

The day I had my surgery, mother and Tim were at the hospital all day. They camped out in the waiting room when they were tired, and bought nasty hospital lunches when they were hungry. Once my father got off work he rushed over. Except...he never showed up until they brought him on a stretcher. He had been in a car accident. A head on collision with a semi. They said the semi driver bent down to pick something up off the floor and he didn’t notice he started to swerve into the other lane.

Once I woke up after my surgery all I felt was pain. But it was all worth it because I lived. When mother broke the news to me about the car accident I was heartbroken. But life went on and I grew older.

It was hard going through the teen years with my friends doing drugs and having kids. I never let into peer pressure though.

By the time I was 17 I got used to my hair being long and silky once again. I had grown into a fine young woman with many loving friends, and a boyfriend named Michael. Our relationship lasted a year and a half, until I was 18. I had graduated but wasn’t looking to go to college quite yet. One evening in fall, Michael arrived on my doorstep looking stressed and tired. I invited him inside but he declined my offer. He told that there was someone else he had his heart set on, and that I was something old and used. Except he didn’t say those exact words. His words weren’t as harsh, but that is how I translate what he told me. It took me about 2 years to build another relationship. But finally at 20, I found love once again. His name was Nathan.

Nathan had soft brown eyes and smooth glistening brown hair. He liked to grow it down to his shoulders which I thought was stupid considering girls are supposed to be the ones with long hair. His kind smile greeted me at my doorstep often, and that night we would go out to a movie or dinner. I would occasionally find small gifts sitting on my doorstep with a poem he wrote attached to it. We would go for walks in the park, and romantic strolls along the beach. I had never felt so comfortable around someone like that. My mind, heart, and soul told me he was the one.

Nate and I were on a date one evening at a fancy restaurant when my cell phone started ringing. I checked to see who it was and it turned out to be my brother. He had always called me right in the middle of a date to bother me or tease me. But this time was different. He sounded scared and frightened. I could hear the edge of sadness in his voice as he told me he got a call from the hospital. Mother had been taken there after a car accident. She had been driving to a friends house and started to cross an intersection when someone ran a red light and slammed into her. The man was reported drunk.

Mother passed away 2 days later, leaving me in despair. I was devastated. I went into deep depression, but finally Tim prescribed medicine for me, and it really helped. I wasn’t as happy as I was before mother died, but I was at least somewhat cheerful. Tim and Nate are the ones who helped me through most of my depression.

Nathan is the one that really lifted my spirits. About 3 months after mothers death he came to see me. We went into the living room and he got down on one knee and pulled a ring out of his pocket. My heart started doing flips and I felt like I would keel over at that very moment. But, I made it until he said, “Ashley Mizuki Kartine, will you marry me?” I took the ring and feel lightly into his arms whispering, “Of course, yes.”

The wedding went wonderfully. Nate looked handsome in his tux, and I looked beautiful in my long white wedding gown. As soon as our wedding was over he swept me up into his arms, smiling.

We lived happily together for a while. Soon after my 21st birthday, war between our country and a country in middle east Asia broke out. Nate felt it was his duty to fight for his country, so he went off with the troops, leaving me alone. All I could do was walk around the house numbly, wishing he would magically appear in front of me. But he didn’t.

About 2 weeks after Nate went to Asia I started having morning sickness. I would wake up each morning, slapping my hand over my mouth and running to the bathroom. I had only had morning sickness the day Nate left, so I didn’t think anything of it. But now, it’s constantly. I got concerned and went to see Tim, only to find I was pregnant. Tim seemed uncomfortable talking to me about it, but he finally got used to my monthly check-up’s and wasn’t so uncomfortable anymore. I guess it would be kind of disturbing being your own sister and all.

I got fatter, and fatter, and fatter. I ate constantly, and often got mad over the smallest issues. One morning I realized I had forgotten to take the garbage out to the curb and that the garbage truck had already swung by our house. I kicked the wall, which resulted in a broken toe. Tim came to my house to take care of me in my last weeks of pregnancy. He would cook my dinner...which wasn’t very good. He was a horrible cook. The most awkward thing was putting my shoes on. He had to help me put my shoes on as if I was a small child. One day he finally confessed of having gotten married to a woman named Elli, a couple weeks ago at a private ceremony in Mineral Town, where he lived. “What?” I said, astonished. I was so angry he didn’t even tell his own sister That night he went to bed with a headache after my temper tantrum involving his head, and a pan.

One morning when I woke up, all I could feel was pain. I screamed for Tim which started freaking out. He was freaking out about delivering the baby just because I was his sister. Finally after a couple hours of labor, I had a beautiful baby girl. Tim looked about ready to faint while holding her, but handed her to me wrapped in a pink blanket. Then he fainted.

Tim stayed with me for a couple months, helping me take care of Angel. That’s what I named my daughter. His wife, Elli, came to visit often. She was nice, sweet, and giggly. I liked her. We loved watching Tim changing diapers because he would turn pale at the stench and nearly keel over. Elli thought it would be a good experience for him though.

One day when Elli was watching Angel, and Tim was cooking breakfast I went out to get the mail. I got a letter from one of Nate’s friends that had went to the army with him. The letter told about how things were going with the war. At the end of the letter he sent his apologies and told me that Nate was died in a suicide bombing. I couldn’t believe what I had just read. I read it over and over. Finally I shredded the letter into pieces and ran inside. I started bawling, and looked myself in my room. Tim tried to get me to come out, so did Elli. But I wouldn’t. Not even the screams and cries of my daughter would bring me out of the room. After 2 days of crying, I finally came out. My daughter seemed delighted that I had come to see her. That night over dinner, I told Elli and Tim why I was crying. Elli started bawling, and Tim...he even cried. Him and Nate were close.

Days went by, Angel grew. She could now walk, and was beginning to talk. At 18 months she came down with pneumonia. I was hysterical, and I rushed her to the hospital right from the pediatricians office. They kept her there, and I camped out either in her room or the waiting from. I woke up one morning to see a doctor standing over me, shaking his head. I knew what he was saying, but I didn’t want to believe it. After he left a nurse came to comfort me.

I had lost everything. Except Tim and Elli. My whole life went right down the drain, screwing everything up. I decided to move to Mineral Town where Tim and Elli live. Right now I am living in a house across from Poultry Farm. I am also taking pills for my depression, and I cry often. Some people have it worse than me, yes, but I couldn’t possibly imagine how worse it is. If your heart is broke once, it can easily be broken again. And mine was. My name is Ashley Mizuki Katrine...depressant, broken, and lost.

[melody]

*gets depressed from story*

It's really good so far. I hope things look up for her.

[pendulous threads]

I've been depressed all week. *Sighs*

Things will look up for her...but maybe not for quite a while. Her depression...I guess I picked depression because thats what I am. Depressed. And craving chocolate which we DON'T HAVE.

>_<

Today I was so tired I laughed uncontrollably at a guy in my class, and he thought it was weird. Now tomorrow I have to work with him in a science lab. But thats not why I'm depressed. I'm not really sure why. It's either...1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 things. I can't figure out which one.

Sorry I'm babbling about my emotions...now I feel like crying. (I don't know...sudden urge. Maybe it's because my legs hurt? Yeah...2 mile run at the gym tires you out...-_-')

So, about the story. I haven't started on chapter two, and I'm not exactly sure how...but I will think of it later on.

[pendulous threads]

Author's Note: I'm feeling better! I'm all happy now! Yay! Except I have to go back to school on Tuesday...-_-' That sucks. Anyways, now that I'm happy I can focus on my writing again. Here is the second chapter.

Chapter Two: Climbing Trees

“Ash, take Violet for a walk. She’s starting to get fussy again.” Elli demanded as she hurried around the clinic. Violet was Elli and Tim’s daughter, born two months ago. Elli had gotten pregnant sometime last year over at my house when Tim was staying with me. I have come to visit my niece every morning since I moved here to Mineral Town. I am very attached to Violet, considering my own bundle of joy passed away only 3 months ago.

“Come here, baby girl.” I cooed as I gathered Violet up into my arms. She looked up at me with her green eyes and giggled. She resembles me quite a bit. She has my green eyes, Elli’s brown hair, and Tim’s nose. All the girls in our family have green eyes, it must be a trait. I walked out of the clinic while Violet found a strand of my hair to tug on. Karen and Rick sat on the bench just outside the supermarket, pondering. I keep wondering why Rick doesn’t start a friendly conversation with her, but I guess it’s none of my business. I smiled at the two, and they returned it happily. Although I am depressed, Tim and Elli are the only ones that know. I hide it well. “Do you want to go see Ann?” I asked Violet. She giggled and pulled on my hair. “Okay. Let’s go, then.”

The whole way to the Inn, Violet kept making baby noises and talked gibberish. I walked through the Inn door and Ann immediately spotted me and came scurrying over, her red braid swinging back and forth behind her. Doug was behind at the cash register, welcoming customers warmly. He waved to me, and I waved back. Duke was there like always, having a drink, and Harris was standing in the corner.

As my eyes gazed the room they fell on a boy. He had to be new, because I hadn’t seen him around before. His hair was long and brown, and when he turned to look at me I could see his brown eyes. He looked so much like Nathan it hurt me to look at him any longer. I turned my attention to Ann which was now talking to Violet as she giggled. She grabbed Ann’s braid and started tugging on it which made Ann pull away from her.

“Ouch, stop it!” She said angrily. “Violet, your hurting me!” Violet gave her braid one last tug and then let go of it. Ann rubbed the back of her head and groaned. “I hope I never have a child.” She muttered. “All they are is a pain the butt.”

“Not all of them.” I said. “Just Violet.” Gray walked into the Inn, wearing his usual ‘annoyed’ expression. But he stopped and came over to us to look at Violet.

“Hey there, Violet.” He said softly. “You look a lot like your aunt. I just hope you grow up to look a lot prettier than her.” He laughed at me and started to walk away when Ann grabbed his hat and threw it on the ground. He spun back around angrily, and grabbed his hat and quickly walked up the stairs to his room. Ann looked content with what she did, and so was I. Gray always has something rude to say to me.

“You see that new guy over there?” Ann asked me, gesturing towards the boy I saw earlier. I nodded and looked down at the ground. I couldn’t look at him again, it just hurt too much. “His name is Cliff. He’s such a depressed boy. Everywhere he goes, it’s like it’s contagious. If he is depressed, everyone is.”

“Wow, the poor boy.” I said, trying to act like the conversation didn’t bother me. “He should really get some counseling. We don’t want the whole town in depression and despair, do we now?” I tried to laugh, but it wouldn’t come out. Violet wiggled around and whined for me to feed her. Ann knew what she wanted so she went over and set a booster seat at the table the boy was at. I groaned and went over, trying to ignore the boy’s curious stare.

“Ann, will you get me some baby food?” I asked, as Ann nodded and hurried into the back room. Since I didn’t bring one of Violet’s bibs along, I took a napkin and stuffed the top of it down the top of her shirt and let the rest hang over. Ann came back out with a spoon and a jar of baby food. “Will you sit with me?” I asked, hoping she would say ‘yes.’

“Sorry, but my break is over.” She replied hastily. “Maybe we can do something later on? Do you want to climb trees with me in the forest near the Kappa Pond?” I nodded. “Okay, I’ll meet you up there at 4:00!” She went off to resume her work as the waitress. I sat down in a chair beside Violet and started spooning her that baby food. I could feel the boy, Cliff, staring at me the whole time. Violet reached her hand into the jar and brought out some baby food.

“Violet don’t you-“ I started, but got cut off when baby food hit my face. I sighed, and took a napkin to wipe my face off with. I laughed at her while she gave me an innocent look and grabbed more food and flung it at me. Finally she calmed down enough for me to spoon her more food. “You silly girl. You just love torturing me don’t you?” I could still feel Cliff watching me, as I kept feeding Violet. Violet got excited again and reached into the jar. “You better not throw that at me aga-” But it didn’t hit me, it hit Cliff. I could feel my myself blushing, and I didn’t want to turn and look at him, but I did.

Cliff smirked and grabbed a napkin. “Your daughter is cute.” He said to me. I wasn’t sure how to answer. I was on the about ready to burst into tears from embarrassment and sadness. Violet noticed my expression and stopped giggling. I got up out of my chair and grabbed Violet and hurried out with tears silently sliding down my cheeks. Violet kept quiet until we got into the clinic, then she started crying for Elli.

"What wrong, my darling?" Elli cooed as she took Violet from my and cradled her lovingly. Elli didn't seem to notice me crying, but Tim did. "Ash, what's wrong?" He asked, concerned. "Did you forget to take your medicine?" I waved my hand in dismissal at him and walked out of the clinic, brushed the tears off my cheeks with the back of my hand. I saw the boy again, slowly walked down the path towards me with his head bowed down, muttering something under his breath. When we were passing each other he looked up at me and caught my arm.

"Hey, I just wanted to-" He started. I jerked my arm away from his grasp. "Apologize." He finished.

"For what?" I spat.

"Well, I made you cry. We kind of got off on a bad start." He scratched the back of his head. "Can we start over? I mean, I'm new here and I thought maybe-"

"Maybe what?" I snarled. "Just maybe we could be friends? Well, let me tell you, I'm not looking for friends. I don't need any friends." I spun on my heel and started walking away.

"My name is Cliff!" He yelled after me. "I'm sorry to bother you!"

I turned the corner, and raced towards the Kappa Pond. The boy was nice, even if he was depressed. It just hurts too much to look at him or talk to him. I don't see how we could ever be friends if I can hardly bear to do either of those. Tears once again started flowing down my cheeks.

I made my way across Jack's Farm and over the bridge. I walked the winding path up to the Kappa Pond and saw Ann waited for me.

"Ash, what took you so long?" She asked, irritated.

"Nothing." I replied. My tears had dried, leaving no trace of me ever have been crying earlier. "Just enjoying the scenery. It's beautiful up here, isn't it?" Ann started to climb up a tree, and she finally made it to a sturdy branch and sat down. I followed and sat down beside her.

"I come up here a lot." She whispered, looking up at the sky. "I come to think of my mother. I can't remember her all that well. Only that she had blue eyes like me, and that she loved to cook." Ann's feet swung back and forth as she talked. "Daddy always tells me that I look so much like her." I looked over at Ann and saw sadness etched on her face.

"I have my mothers eyes too." I confessed. "I can remember her well. It was only 3 years ago when she passed away." I looked over at Ann, and I could tell she understood my pain. We had a connection, and I was willing to open up and tell her the story. "I was on a date one night with a man named Nathan. Tim called my cell phone and told me that mother had been in a car accident and was in the hospital. We were told the whole story by the police. Mother was on her way to a friends house and crossing an intersection when another car slammed into hers. The man driving the other car was said to be drunk."

"Is that why you never drink?" She asked me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Whenever I ask you if you would like something to drink you shake your head and leave."

"Yes." I replied. "That's why. And Tim doesn't drink because of that either."

I could feel a bond between us, now. It was growing every second we sat there in silence, looking up at the sky. At one point Ann started to cry, which is strange. She is always so cheerful and peppy, but somehow, thoughts can mess up your emotions. Finally I hugged her, and we both went home to sleep, waiting to talk more the next morning.

[melody]

I really like this story, Anna. ^-^

It's very good.

And I'm glad you're in a better mood now.

[pendulous threads]

Thanks! ^_^ I'm going to have to print out the first two chapter and write them down in a notebook.

[Ksirb]

lol i like it.........I WANT MORE!!!!!!

[pendulous threads]

Wow...chill out, girly. I'm working on it! >_<

[Ksirb]

<_<.........>_>............^_^ ok but it better be good........But knowing you itll be better than good

[pendulous threads]

Aww...that is SO nice! Hehe...thanks. It will be good...hopefully. In this story she is going to be friends with Rick, and isn't going to like Cliff all that much...

<.<

>.>

...Yet...

[Ksirb]

Finally!!!!!!!

[pendulous threads]

Finally what? Your confusing me!

[melody]

She means the main character won't love Cliff. Like all of the other stories you have.

[Ksirb]

YUP!!!!! see Mel gets me.......its part of you being slow

[pendulous threads]

How do you know she won't love Cliff? I could change the WHOLE view of things. ^_^ Heh. But...I can't tell you who she will end up with. Who knows...she could end up with Ann.

LMAO...I really got you scared there for a moment...nope, not Ann. Not a girl. A guy. Maybe...Cliff...but I can't tell you. *Puts on sunglasses and remains mysterious and slow*