violet
Medium Milk
Merry Christmas!
Posts: 83
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Post by violet on Mar 29, 2006 23:43:17 GMT -5
This is my first!!!
Chapter 1: The day I was Born
I have heard the story so many times that I can almost picture what it looked like...
Screams were coming from the other room and my father was pacing back and forth. I, his only daughter, was about to be born.
The screams came again and my father stopped and looked at the door, he was not allowed in. But he so wanted to be with his wife while I was being born, he wanted to run his fingers through her soft short brown hair and say "Everything will be all right, Elli."
A few more screams came.
...and then they stopped.
Then came my screech.
He ran into the room.
"ELLI!!"
It was over, everything,...his wife,his dear Elli was gone.
He just stood there staring at Elli.
Everything was silent he couldn't even hear me screaming.
My dad always tells me stories like this...about mama and him or how I would have been so happy if she lived.
I always reassure him "I am happy daddy..."
But I am not happy...Oh sure I have a great life...but my dad my own father won't even let me go... go out... where the sun is shining... he is to afraid I will fall sick and die... I understand he doesn't want to lose me... But I want to see light...I have never seen... maybe not even when I was coming home from the clinic. Daddy boarded up the windows and locks the door when he leaves...
End Chapter One.
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Post by moko on Mar 30, 2006 21:19:38 GMT -5
how............... depressing.
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Post by allmighty on Mar 31, 2006 0:01:02 GMT -5
It's original, unique and good.
I like it.
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Post by Butterscotch on Mar 31, 2006 0:14:50 GMT -5
Very interesting.
I'm a bit confused about the very begining...How does the character know what happened while she was being born?
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Post by allmighty on Mar 31, 2006 0:19:54 GMT -5
We call that "art".  Really, I've read books where the main character is a dog, so I don't question myself anymore when I see things like that. |
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Post by Limegreen Queen on Mar 31, 2006 16:03:18 GMT -5
lol. It's really good. It is unique.
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Post by melody on Mar 31, 2006 18:44:12 GMT -5
I have heard the story so many times that I can almost picture what it looked like... Her father told her about it, Butters. It's really good so far. Keep up the good work.  |
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Post by Kikyou Saya Rin-Ren on Jul 2, 2006 2:17:07 GMT -5
It is good! I hope you're planning more violet! *bookmarks*
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