And here is how you count it: The weekend are not business day. Does that help?
Heh, I like your way of thinking. ;D
And here I am, 5 days later...
I have an excuse this time, though. I had to get a new router because the old one kept dropping the connection every couple of seconds. It seems to be stable now, though.
Soooo...
Chapter 6Madam Moo stood at the entrance of Yodel Ranch with the look of a cow-in-a-human-body that knew EXACTLY what they were doing.
Today was going to be different. Today was going to be the dawning of a new era for all of Cowkind.
Unlike the other cows of Mineral Town, Madam Moo was not born into a life of privilege. Though she was the daughter of nobility, Moo was born into a fate that few of her fellow cows could understand. Madam Moo was born in the fields of a "killing barn", as she called it.
Throughout Moo's childhood her mother was a constant source of love and inspiration. "Lady Milksalot", as she was known to her fellow bovine,
was a strong and prideful cow who knew what her eventual fate would be and yet, she accepted it with dignity and grace.
She knew the futility of resisting her fate as a cow, and rather than hating her owners she took pride in growing fat so that she could eventually provide them with food.
To her, THIS was her destiny. To live and die so that others might continue to live... that is the pride of a true cow.
But Madam Moo was different.
At the tender age of 1 year Madam Moo had finally become a mature cow. She had many hopes and dreams for herself, like many cows her age. At first
she wanted to become a championship racer. She quickly dismissed this as an unrealistic dream, but still... Madam Moo felt that she was every bit the
equal of a horse.
For a brief while she entertained the notion of becoming a dung artist, but no matter how skillfully she molded her excrement the other cows merely laughed at her efforts. Apparently the average cow had no appreciation for fine art.
Madam Moo continued to struggle to find her place in life when suddenly, the unthinkable happened. Her mother was taken to "place of no return".
Lady Milksalot tried to console her heartbroken daughter, but it was to no avail. The elder cow had long ago accepted her fate but her child simply couldn't understand what was happening. How could the masters be so cold-hearted? Had Lady Milksalot not lived up to her name? Was this the fate of EVERY cow... to live in peace and comfort and then die at the hands of those who cared for them?
Madam Moo desperately tried to break the fence that separated her from her beloved mother, but the ranch-hands quickly beat her back. As Lady Milksalot bravely walked up to face her destiny, she silently shed a tear for her dear child. Someday, she felt, Madam Moo would understand her sacrifice.
For many days Madam Moo refused to eat. Why should she fatten herself up if she was only going to become food for others? The ranchers debated whether or not they should try to force-feed the young cow but suddenly a young man appeared that would change Madam Moo's life forever. The boy was named "Jack", and he had come to buy a cow.
But not just ANY cow. Jack had heard of the distant slaughter house from the old man Barley; a breeder of championship cows, and was determined to save at least one animal from their terrible fate.
Jack had recently bought an abandoned farm and after much effort he brought the land from the brink of disaster to a fertile space suitable for growing any number of crops. With some extra pocket money in hand he decided to expand his horizons and try to raise livestock.
As he was surveying the herd for a potential candidate Jack overheard the ranchers debating Madam Moo's fate, and he knew instinctively what to do. Jack bought Madam Moo at a reasonable discount and freed her from the cruel clutches of her masters.
At first Madam Moo was sure that she had merely escaped one death for another, but eventually she began to see that Jack was different from the other humans. Jack was a kind young man who did his best to make her feel welcome into his small family, and slowly but surely Madam Moo grew to love him as a father.
To her dismay Madam Moo gradually forgot about her heritage as she grew into a life of security, but her strange new predicament opened Moo's eyes to her true calling in life; she was going to rescue all of her brethren from the same fate as Lady Milksalot.
For a moment Moo stood at the field's gate and remembered her dear mother's final words;
"Mooo. Mooo Muhhh Mooo MOOOOOOOO."
Just as relevant now as it ever was.
With much difficulty Madam Moo fumbled with the latch and finally swung the gate open to face her fellow cows. She could barely contain her excitement.
"My friends, it is I; Madam Moo! I have come to walk with you on the path to freedom!" she bellowed triumphantly. Barley's herd looked up at her briefly, and then went back to munching on grass.
"Did you not hear me?" Madam Moo frowned.
"If this is a joke, then it isn't funny." Bessimer, a large Holstein said. "How did you learn Cowish, anyway? And what are you doing here on our master's property? You're not trying to steal us to bring back to your own farm, I hope..."
Madam Moo bowed slightly and addressed the herd once more.
"I assure you that this is no joke, my dear Bessimer." Madam Moo said. "It may be difficult to believe but I am in fact Madam Moo. I was the victim of a strange event today that has placed me in the body of my master. No matter how I may appear, I am and always will be a cow at heart."
The herd looked up from their grazing and eyed Madam Moo critically. She seemed sincere enough, and it was true that no human had ever spoken a word of Cowish to them before. Perhaps she wasn't lying after all.
"Alright, fine. We believe you." Loolabell, and elderly Heiffer said. "Now what is this nonsense about 'destiny'?"
Madam Moo grinned and swept her arms out dramatically.
"The gods have graced me with this body for a purpose!" Madam Moo declared. "I know now that it is my place in life to gather all of our fellow cows and put an end to the horrible sacrifices that so many of us have been forced to make. No longer will we be fattened up and led to our deaths just to become food f-"
"Oh great, here we go again." Bessimer groaned. "Still going on about those 'killing barns', are we?"
"What?" Madam Moo said, shocked. "What do you m-"
"At every festival that's all you talk about." Glorietta, the youngest cow snapped. "Will you come off it, already?"
"But- but it's true!" Madam Moo cried. "I was BORN into one. My dear mother was-"
"Oh yes, Lady Milksalot." Bessimer said, rolling her eyes. "You expect us to believe that the humans would put a member of royalty to death? What grass have you been eating, child?"
"But, why would I lie to you?" Madam Moo asked. "I'm telling you, there are many killing barns. Hundreds... maybe even thousands, and they're all the same!"
"If that's true then why don't the cows escape?" Glorietta asked. "There are lots of them in these 'killing barns', so why don't they rise up and overthrow their masters?"
"You don't understand." Moo said. "I've seen cows try to escape and the humans always stop them. They have machines that are faster than any cow, and they round up anyone who tries to get away!"
"Again, why don't they fight back?" Glorietta asked. "If they know they're going to die then why don't all of the cows join together and defeat the humans?"
"Are you a fool?" Madam Moo shouted. "The humans have lightning sticks! They can kill a cow with a single touch-"
"Lightning sticks!" Loolabell laughed. "Listen to her! That human brain of hers has made Moo go crazy."
"But I've seen it!" Moo screamed. "Why would I lie? Why would any of you deny the cow holicaust? Have you forgotten your pride as a cow?"
"How dare you!" Bessimer yelled. "You're not even a cow anymore! Why should we listen to you?"
"What do you think is going to happen when you go to one of these 'killing barns', Moo?" Glorietta asked. "Do you think any of the cows are going to believe you? Do you think the humans are just going to let you free them all? They'll kill you, too!"
"Can you even speak Human?" Loolabell laughed. Madam Moo bowed her head in shame.
"No... I can't." she said as tears began to stream down her face.
"Go home, Moo." Bessimer said, angrily. "Go home and forget your stupid dreams. You're not our friend anymore; you're an outsider!"
"Fine! I'll leave!" Madam Moo shouted tearfully. "But I'll never give up! I'll prove you all wrong! You, you, domesticated... PIGS!"
"Get out of here!" Loolabell screamed. "Get out and never come back, HUMAN!"
Heartbroken, Madam Moo ran from Yodel Ranch as fast as her feet could carry her, leaving a trail of tears behind with every step.
* * *
"Jack, where you?" Ann shouted as she finally arrived at the farm. The Harvest Goddess, who was just leaving, turned and pointed at Madam Moo's former body before continuing on her way.
"What?" Ann asked, confused. "Hey, wait! Why haven't you-"
"There's a problem." Jack said, and Ann turned to face him with shock.
"Madam Moo? Or, I mean... Jack? You can TALK?" she asked incredulously. "But how-"
"The Witch Princess cast a spell that translates what I say." Jack explained. "The Harvest Goddess and her were going to start the spell but they need to have my real body here with me."
"Well, where is it?" Ann asked. Jack sighed and shook his head.
"I don't know. Madam Moo was alr-"
"What you mean you don't know?!" Ann yelled. "How could you-"
"Dammit Ann, I didn't mean to!" Jack snapped. "I didn't know what was going on! I didn't know it was important! Now I have to find it fast, or they might not be able to fix me at all!"
"You mean, you might be like this... FOREVER?" Ann asked, breathlessly. "Jack I'm... I'm sorry. I didn't know..."
Jack bowed his head and sighed heavily.
"It's okay." he said. "I'm angry at myself, not you. I don't know what to do now."
"Well, isn't it obvious?" Ann asked. "Don't we just have to find your body?"
"Yeah, but what if it's-"
"Forget it!" Ann said. "Don't worry, okay? I'll go grab Karen and Popuri and we'll have your body back before you know it. Jeez, you're always so pessimistic."
Jack smiled and looked up to his girlfriend sheepishly.
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
"Trust me. You'll be back in your real body before dinner." Ann said with determination. "Now, do you have any idea where it might be?"
"I think so." Jack nodded. "You can try the town square first, and if it's not there she might be at Yodel Ranch."
"Good!" Ann said. "It's a start, at least. I'll head out right now-"
"Wait!" Jack said. "Um, I'm not sure how to ask this..."
Ann frowned at his suddenly serious tone.
"What, is something wrong?" she asked. Jack looked around uneasily and cleared his throat. This wasn't going to be easy to ask...
"Um, before all this happened I was going to milk Madam Moo, but obviously I wasn't able to. And now, ummm... I really need to be...."
"You're kidding me." Ann said, horrified. "You want me to- you're kidding me!"
"I'm sorry!" Jack said. "I know it's asking a lot, but my udder is really sore! I don't know how much longer I can bear it."
Ann looked down at his bulging udder with wide eyes. Jack looked at her pleadingly, and she finally swallowed hard and nodded.
"I- well... I- If I have to." she said uneasily.
"The bucket and stool are in the barn."
To be continued...
