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Post by pendulous threads on Nov 21, 2005 18:21:20 GMT -5
Can't help it...need to post another chapter!
Chapter Fifteen: The Dating Doctor
"So, someone is calling a meeting at the Inn?" Cliff questioned as I told him about the letter recieved in the mail. I nodded and added, "At 7:00." He shrugged and turned back to his breakfast. The letter was strange...we usually didn't have meetings in this town, just festivals.
I went outside and watered the corn, pineapples, and tomatoes. I spun around and went into the barn to look at all the space I had to house animals. What the...? There were 2 cows, and a sheep in there walking around like it was home, sweet home. I then notcied Barley hobbling over to me with a smile plastered on his face.
"Oh, Shelly. I brought you some gifts." Barley said. I laughed nervously, and remembered I only knew how to take care of the chicken so far. "Consider them an early wedding gift, okay?"
"But, I'm not engaged." I commented, looking at him strangely. Does he have a brain...? Is he thinking of someone else...?
"Of course your not." He said gruffly. "But there will come a time, very soon, that you will be. Cliff is such a nice boy. I predict you will run a good money making farm and have a wonderful family." Okay, now I'm ticked. I thought.
"WILL EVERYONE STOP TALKING ABOUT CHILDREN AND MARRIAGE!" I screamed loudly. Barley looked startled, and the cows ans sheep ran over to the corner of the barn. "YOU ARE DRIVING ME INSANE!" I stomped out of the barn and into the house. I grabbed the pillow on my bed and slammed my head into it and let out a shrill scream to express my anger. Once I was done, I pulled my head out of the pillow to find Cliff sitting at the table staring at me.
"Oh, sorry Honey. I didn't see you there." I said sweetly. He smiled nervously and turned his gaze back to the book he was reading.
"I'm not even going to ask..." he mumbled to me. I laughed and sat across from him.
"Good, because you don't want to know." I replied. "Will you come help me feed the cows, and the sheep, Honey? Pretty please with sugar on top?" I batted my eye lashes at him, and he glanced over at me from the book he was reading.
"When did we get..." he asked putting his book down.
"They were a present from Barley." I interuptted. "He gave us 2 cows, and a sheep." He looked at me strangley and we walked over to the barn together. Barley was still inside, waiting for me to return.
"Sorry for bothering you, Shelly." Barley said causiously, making sure he wasn't to close to me. "I didn't think it would bother you that much. I'm so sorry..."
"It's okay Barley. I'm just very short tempered about it because everyone is mobbing me with comments like that." I apologized. "It's okay, just...leave. Please, I will talk to you some other time okay?" Barley nodded and left quickly leaving the cows, sheep, and Cliff and I in there alone. Cliff then turned to me and raised his eye brows.
"I'm not going to ask about that either." he laughed. "You sure know how to take care of yourself, Sweetie." I smiled, and we took some fodder out of the silo and fed the cows and sheep. Cliff and I thought of some names together and decided the cows would be named Starr, and Cookie, and then we named the sheep Icy.
"What do you think this meeting is about?" I asked Cliff as we made our way to the Inn later that day. He shrugged, and we kept on walking towards the Inn. We soon arrived, and all the young guys and girls were there. Ann, Karen, Mary, Popuri, Kai, Rick, and Gray. Elli and Doc weren't there though, for some reason. Cliff and I took our seats at the table everyone else was sitting at. Ann and Karen were chatting, Kai and Popuri were kissing, Rick was glaring at Kai, and Gray and Mary were calling each other cute little names like "Snuggly Wuggly Bear, and Sweetums."
"Why aren't any of the other towns people here?" Cliff asked me as soon as we sat down beside each other. "This is strange..."
"Yeah, what's going on here?" I asked. "It doesn't feel right..." A guy that was middle aged that had brown hair and green eyes stepped out of the back room and climbed onto the counter of the bar. Doug glided over and locked the doors so no one could get inside.
"Hello, young ones. I'm...The Dating Doctor. Your own personal Hitch, here to talk to you about...dating!" the man announced. All of us immediatly ran over to the door and started pounding on it, trying to get away from the dating doctor.
"Doug didn't lock it so no one could get in..." I whispered so all of us could hear. "He locked it so we couldn't get out!" At my words we all screaming like crazy. Harris and Doug walked out of the back room and threatened us all to sit down or they would shoot. Of course they were joking, but none of us wanted to test this threat. I grabbed Cliff's hand and smiled nervously.
"We are going to start with the 5 worst pick up lines ever!" the man said. We all groaned, and rolled our eyes. "The fifth worst is...You're prettier than a Blue Ribbon Pig on Fair Day." All the men laughed at this and then women got angry.
"Excuse me!" Ann said loudly. "Do any of these lines offend the men instead of the women?" The dating doctor shrugged and started with his next line.
"The fourth worst is...Can I stand over here by you because I just farted over there by her." This time everyone laughed and I looked over at Cliff which was happy. I have never felt more joyful, either. "Women do not like it when you say discusting things in public. Do not use this line."
"He's funny..." Mary mumbled to Gray. Gray smiled at her and we all waiting for more pick up lines.
"Third worst...You must work for UPS because I saw you checking out my package." Everyone was silent at this one and then the men burst out laughing. "Even is women check out your package, they do not like the obvious to be stated directly to them."
I squeezed Cliff's hand tightly to make sure he remembered his girlfriend was in the room, watching him laugh at things that offended us. Well, boys will be boys. Besides, he looks so cute, I can't blame him.
"Second worst...You must have glue on your butt, because my eyes have been stuck there all night." Gray looked over at Mary and scanned her, and Kai did the same for Popuri. Cliff just kept his gaze forward, and squeezed my hand to reassure me he wasn't that perverted to stare at my butt.
"Hey, you stop that..." Popuri hissed at Kai. Kai smiled and then turned his gaze back to the dating doctor.
"At the worst pick up line ever is...If beauty were milk, you would be a cow." All the women gasped and were exremely offended at this point. All the guys glanced nervously around the room, trying to hold back laughter. "Whatever you do, NEVER, refer to a lady as a large farm animal."
"I thought it was sweet when Kai told me that..." Popuri mumbled sadly. Kai blushed, and frowned nervously waiting for a slap or scream, which never came.
"Next we will talk about true friends. A true friend is very rare. Time spent with them is effortless." the dating doctor said. "Nobody keeps score. Say you go on a date, and your boyfriend/girlfriend pays for dinner. They do not make you pay next time because you owe them."
"Yeah, Gray." Mary spat. She glared at Gray and he smiled weakly and replied, "Sorry Sweetums. I will change, I promise." She seemed pleased with his words and redirected her attention to the dating doctor.
"There also is no jealously." he announced. "If a girl/guy walks up to you and says they want you to introduce them to your friend because they are cute, you will not get jealous. If you get jealous, you are not a true friend to this person." We all nodded and listened for more advice.
"We will now talk about 'hmms.'" We all looked around confusedly and then looked at the dating doctor once more. "Your 'hmm' could be sitting in this room. A 'hmm' is a person you look at go 'hmm' because you like this person, and think there is a possibility of commitment between the two of you, or if they are cute."
I looked over at Cliff and went 'HMM' and he did the same for me. I giggled and we paid attention to the dating doctor again. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Kai, Rick, and Gray look at me and I could hear a faint 'hmm' come from each of them. It's a good thing none of the other girls, and especially Cliff didn't notice.
"One thing I think is disrespectful to women is how the men are all over them in public." the dating doctor said in a serious tone. "I don't mind holding hands, or a peck on the cheek, but making out in public places are not exceptable gentlemen. It is SO disrespectful to the ladies."
"Ann looked over at Cliff and went, "Yeah Cliff, did you hear what he said. You are so disrespectful to Shelly." I knew she was teasing, but Cliff didn't.
"What are you talking about?" he asked defensively. "I don't make out with her in PUBLIC. But you have no clue what happens at home..."
"Cliff, stop giving Ann false thoughts about what happens between us!" I snapped. He blushed and chuckled, like he knew I would say that. Ann smiled at me and raised her eye brows. I smiled back, and winked.
The dating doctor continued, "In a healthy relationship, the stronger person takes care of the weaker person until the weaker person no longer needs that type of assistance and is strong on their own. Who is here has a perfectly wonderful relationship, or think so anyways?"
Cliff and I raised our hands, along with Gray and Mary. Popuri and Kai shrugged and didn't bother to figure out if they did or not.
"That's wonderful. Now, in an unhealthy relationship, the stronger person takes advantage of the weaker person to keep them down, under control and dependent upon them. I hope no one in here has an unhealthy relationship." he hopped off the counter and walked over to the table. "An example of a healthy relationship are these two." he said, pointing to Cliff and I. "I can see it. They have trust, respect, intimacy, passion, and commitment. All good qualities."
Cliff leaned over and kissed me, and I smiled at him as we broke apart.
"See, what did I tell you?" Ann said out loud. I glared at her.
"Well, atleast I didn't make out with her!" Cliff shot back. "I'm very respectful as a matter of fact! I respect that she is willing to give her time, effort, and love to me. I just hope I am giving her all that she is giving me!" Everyone was staring at him at this point.
"You have a very wonderful young man on your hands. I would advise you keep him." the dating doctor told me. I smiled, and nodded. "That concludes today's meeting. Thank you, and use this advise to help you!" He then unlocked the doors and everyone filed out.
"Honey, I just want you to know you have given me all I need." I told Cliff once we were almost to the house. "I don't want anything more than you have givin me, because there is no more to give, Cliffie. You are the only thing I want and I...love you." I looked away to hide my blush, but he took his hand and turned my face around to face his.
"And I love you too." he replied. We kissed, and walked the rest of the way to the house without a word.
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